Stupidity Wears Chartreuse

The direction and outcome of our daily undertakings depends on how we react to various situations. Meaning, sometimes our having a good vs. a bad experience may depend on how we interact with stupers (lest we forget, short for undeniably stupid persons).

If a stuper crosses your path, your primary focus should be on maintaining your sense of well being and sanity. Sometimes, to battle stupidity swiftly and efficiently, certain tactics must be employed.

My sister, Vanessa, went shopping to buy furniture. A simple enough endeavor. One that should and could run smoothly and without incident…unless, of course, there’s a counterfeit human involved.

The store Vanessa visited advertised that they were having a sale to beat all sales. There was one slight problem. The super discount didn’t start for four days. What if a potential customer wanted to buy something immediately, but at the upcoming sale price?

Vanessa saw a couch that she liked. She asked a sales clerk if there was any way to make a sale priced purchase prior to the official start. Vanessa recounted,

“The saleslady looked at me as if I was a dimwit. Then she said, ‘No. It’s against the law.’

‘Really?’ I replied. ‘Which one of us are they going to handcuff and haul away? Me or you?’

I kid you not. She stared at me for so long, I considered giving myself a manicure and pedicure while I waited. I easily could have. Finally, I just strolled away to a different part of the store.

Another salesperson wandered by.  I asked him the same question. He said, ‘No problem.’

I bought the couch on the spot.

“What the hell did I miss?” Vanessa asked me. “How was I supposed to know she was a stuper? Should her chartreuse polyester pantsuit have given me a hint? Or the puzzled expression on her face when I asked for help?” 

How is it that one employee regarded a pre-sale purchase as challenging as attempting a diamond heist at Tiffany’s with one hand cuffed to the security guard, while the other salesperson equated it to stepping lightly over a sleeping dog? 

For a stuper, the world is black and white. Either something can be done or not. There is no creativity, which requires thought and contemplation. This saleslady in this situation could have asked for assistance from a manager, but if such a higher level authority was hidden from her sight (which was probably the case here), that ain’t gonna happen. Remember, stupers view the world through a straw.

Vanessa did the only thing she could. Persisting with the stuper would have done neither party any good and resisting stupidity would only have made Vanessa angry. She just removed herself from the presence of the meager mind and found an authentic, thinking human. 

Are you a thinker?


4 Responses to “Stupidity Wears Chartreuse”

  1. Great blog, look forward to reading more in the future!

    I like to believe that I am a thinker, but since it took me twice to submit this comment — I now have my doubts!;)

  2. Great post Keli, you are a girl after my own heart! I encounter stupers pretty much on a daily basis! It’s annoying as hell! UGH!

  3. Julianne says:

    Chartreuse polyester pant suits are never a good sign.

  4. Stephen says:

    In my opinion if the sale starts in four days it starts in four days. Not before. Saying it’s againts the law is stupid but that doesn’t change the fact that your sister was four days too early

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.