Where Stupidity Grows Obese

September 4, 2007 by Keli.

Nowhere on earth is there displayed a greater amount of human stupidity vying for notice than on the roadways. Our highway system is tainted by stupers (yet again, short for unquestionably stupid persons).

I read that we utilize only about five percent of our brainpower. I did some research and discovered that stupers, on the road, utilize only .0000000000001% of such brainpower. A large part of the mind is in hibernation.

Example One:

A car enters the freeway. However, instead of carefully merging into the nearest lane when safe to do so, the driver performs a sideways maneuver, in a fairly flawless horizontal line, across three lanes and into the highly coveted fast lane. Undoubtedly, he does this with eyes closed, as he pays no heed whatsoever to other vehicles. I am very grateful that no one is adversely affected. Amused maybe. Possibly clenching their teeth in frustration. But thankfully, unharmed.

Once this new arrival reaches the speed-soaked fast lane, he proceeds to take up knitting. Of course, I have no way to prove this other than by observing that while other cars drive at speeds exceeding seventy-five mph, this self-proclaimed, misbegotten leader of an immediately disgruntled pack, slows to fifty-five mph. A long line of cars forms behind him. But does he notice? No, for that would require awareness and thought, both of which are blatantly missing.

Do you agree that the fast lane is for drivers in a hurry? And who choose to drive with quickness and alacrity? It’s also for those who may wish to do a quick pass and resume in the second lane. If you disagree, please do not read the next example.

Example Two:

I am in the second lane behind an SUV. All vehicles in surrounding lanes easily pass me. Why does the SUV insist on demonstrating his sluggardly skills?

When safe, I pass him on the left. As I do, I notice the car in front of the SUV: a pile of hastily taped together, discarded-automobile-parts has virtually dropped anchor, driving at a whopping speed of forty mph.  And he manages to maintain a perpetually blinking left turn signal. What a multi-tasking jokester! Meanwhile, the SUV locks lips on the junker’s fender.

After I pass, I notice an astonishing phenomenon: the clunker with the blinking light is serious. He moves into the fast lane, at forty mph….and just about parks his car.

Is the fast lane for cruisers? Is it for sightseers who want to ensure they miss no action on the opposing side? Is it for the injured, damaged or carelessly looked after cars? Should vehicles with dysfunctional engines sit in the fast lane to garner attention to their plight? NO! (I apologize if you were accosted by a sudden gust of wind emitting from my yell).

It is not possible for me to explain the mental workings (or lack thereof) of a stuper sitting unabashedly in the fast lane in the space provided here. Instead, I suggest that each one of us authentic, thinking beings, treat every such obstacle with the patience and perseverance of the caterpillar climbing the mountain. And if subjected to the abruptly amusing, yet disheartening displeasure of witnessing such a profoundly stupid spectacle, laugh. Then laugh again. It is truly hilarious. If necessary, use soothing language to calm any disturbances to your psyche or soul.

Thoughts rule the world.

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Vehicular Stupidity | 7 Comments »