Stupid Pet Owners

I like to indulge myself in early morning walks when the world is quiet and the sky is rosy. I breathe in the fresh scents, eye the multi-tinted flowers until…Roaming Rover bounds threateningly towards me. I faced a cavalier Border Collie a few days ago, off the leash. The oblivious owner followed 150 paces back.

The dog commenced barking and circling, closer and closer. All us humans resembled sheep to him.

I briefly considered the ramifications of biting him first. Or making a mad dash for the nearest tree. Then I heard the owner call out,

“Come here, boy!” Then to me, “Don’t worry! He won’t bite.”

But I was worried.  Being bitten by a dog was not on my list of ten things I’d like to experience before I die. Sure enough, Rover nipped me in my posterior. I decided to utilize Mark Twain’s sage advice: When angry, count four. When very angry, swear. Swearing felt good.

There was no pain or broken skin; just an annoying interruption of my peace of mind, underscored by the indignity of being mistaken for a farm animal who lived in a corral and wore a woolen coat. If only the unenlightened owner used the leash for its intended purpose instead of slinging it over his shoulder.

Said owner cornered and leashed the four-legged ruffian. The idiot babbled, “He’s never done that before.” And continued on his stroll.

“What if I’d been an elderly person or a child?” I yelled after him.

No apology was offered. How can stupers (again abbreviated for insufferably stupid persons) apologize when they are incapable of realizing that a wrong occurred?

A similar episode took place one Thanksgiving morning when my then twelve-year-old son and I walked our dog, Rio, on the leash. Rio has been known to possess certain…psychotic tendencies. Hence, he is never unleashed outside the home.

We passed through the local high school where people gathered for a baseball game. A cattle dog, off leash, entered the premises. His owner, walking behind him, assured us,

“Don’t worry! He’s friendly!”

My son’s arm sported numerous cuts and scratches from trying to pull Rio and the genial, free-range dog apart.

Unless your dog is Lassie or a reasonable facsimile, or one whom you are absolutely certain lacks aggressive tendencies, it should be leashed in public.  Binky the dog, walks leashless in my street, but he’s fourteen and has a slight limp. Greta, the German Shepherd, also runs loose; she looks menacing, but her wagging tail gives her away. However, some dogs are not off-the-leash material.

Stupers fail to understand this last point. They think…ouch! I bit my tongue on that slip. All right already – they don’t think! They’re not the brightest crayons in the box. There exists a barrier in the mind that shuts out awareness and any sense of responsibility.   

Watching another act in a half-witted manner should be a strong deterrent to behaving stupidly yourself. 

Beware of the stuper who says, “Don’t worry.”


7 Responses to “Stupid Pet Owners”

  1. M.C. says:

    I can’t stand it when dogs are off the leash. It makes me very uncomfortable. I was nipped by a dog who ran out of a house with an open door and then ran back in. I went to the door, but there was no sign of any owner. They just opened the front door and let the dogs do as they liked. Uggh!

  2. RubyShooZ says:

    One of the worst ones is the owners who let their dogs chase cars. I’ve almost hit so many. It’s scary and I just can’t imagine letting my animal out to be killed that way.


  3. morinn says:

    well that obviously never happens to me since i let my dogs loose on my property solely and not on the streets where they could have some fun with people! so dog owners are just so irresponsible. i wonder why they ever keep dogs if they don’t understand the implication of them biting people.

  4. Vanessa says:

    Amen, sister. My dog is an overprotective Katrina rescue. 108 pounds of yellow lab lovin’. A dog off leash comes bounding up to us I can gaurantee he ain’t gonna take it well! Of course, they’d then sue me over Fluffy’s vet bill….

  5. dawn says:

    As a long time owner of husky/shepherd cross I am well aware of how intimidating a dog can be. I know she is harmless but I can’t expect everyone else to know. She is allowed loose on our property but kept leashed at all times when we leave it. Besides, even though she has never harmed a soul, she is a dog after all, and it would be really stupid of me to trust her 100%… She has been known to jump on people out of pure playfulness but it’s my responsibility to keep her in check so she doesn’t knock a child down or anyone for that matter.
    IMHO – no dogs are off the leash material – unless you are in the privacy of your own home.

    PS… there’s a little award from the twisted sisters waiting to be picked up!

  6. Julianne says:

    You should have bitten him first.

  7. Lilsy says:

    Hi Keli,
    Just so you know, there is no twelve step for stupid. I wish there were, but then you’d still have some of the falling off the wagon.

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