Stupidity - Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

September 24, 2007 by Keli.

Today, I will address the questions most often asked by my 3.5 readers regarding stupidity:

Have you documented the number of stupers (short, once more, for indubitably stupid persons) walking the earth today?

• Yes. Renowned stupidity expert, Walter B. Pitkin, author of A Short Introduction to the History of Human Stupidity (Simon & Schuster, 1932), estimated that 4 out of 5 people are stupers (that’s over four billion today). I am a little more optimistic; my studies revise that figure to 3.9 out of 5.

Do you have a degree in stupidity?

• No. I have a bachelor’s degree in P.S. (Political Science) in which I discovered, I had no great interest or talent. I like to think that P.S. stands for Prodigious Stupidity, a major that really should be offered in larger universities or at least, in correspondence schools.

Have you ever been stupid?

• Many times. But my recent slips thankfully affect no one but myself. For instance, I just visited the local college student store to buy books for my older son. I noticed students milling about, wearing lost and frustrated expressions, miserably unable to find what they searched for. I, genius that I am, immediately located what I needed and made my way to the cashier. As I climbed up two flights of stairs to buy the books, I thought of how brilliant I was.

“It’s wonderful to be smart!” I announced to no one in particular.I reached one arm over the opposite shoulder and proceeded to pat myself resoundingly on the back. As I patted away, I looked down at my very cute Jimmy Choo sandals; I picked up speed, taking two steps at a time; I suddenly felt exceptionally nimble and athletic. (Insert theme from Chariots of Fire here). Then…I fell flat on my face, onto the hard concrete stairs. What is the likelihood of falling up the stairs? 100% when acting like a stuper.Is stupidity hereditary?

• No specific gene has been linked to stupidity. However, scientists are working ‘round the clock and believe a breakthrough is near. My research indicates that offspring are not born stupid. It depends on the amount of influence one or both stupid parents exert over the child vs. the child’s natural ability to self-cultivate awareness.

Is that really a picture of your hair in “Stupidity Wears Stripes?”

• No. My braid was much longer.

Does stupidity hurt?

• Yes and no. Yes as far as the victims are concerned, but no as far as the stuper goes. If only stupidity did hurt the perpetrator, fewer people would engage in it.

Is there medication for stupidity?

• Not yet. I am experimenting daily with various drugs, using myself and a few carefully chosen subjects, as voluntary guinea pigs. We hope to have something on the open market soon. A small clinic in Boligrafo, Chile may be operational next spring.

Do you give private consultations?

• I give private or public consultations, at no charge. My reward lies in obliterating stupidity, one stuper at a time.

Can someone who suffers from stupidity run for public office?

• Yes. It’s quite common and perfectly acceptable.

Is the affliction of stupidity reversible?

• Yes. All it takes is a little awareness and a bit of careful thought. It can happen. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Not so for a person who has never practiced either one. That’s why I have recently applied for a patent for my newly developed method of stupidity busting called, “Jolt the Dolt.” Meanwhile, thinking, capable, authentic humans must diligently exercise positive, vigilant thought; stupers might take to mimicking per the herd of sheep mentality. What one does, the rest must do also. There is always hope.

Keep thinking!

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com 

Posted in Miscellaneous | 8 Comments »

Awards Galore!

September 24, 2007 by Keli.

My humble thanks to the great Brit Wit (sorry, I couldn’t resist),  Agnes of HexMyEx, for awarding me the prestigious Rockin’ Girl Blogger Award. I hope she will forgive me for taking my time in picking it up, but after all, the UK is not exactly right next door. Agnes’ blog is such a splendid read that I am hooked and feel let down if I don’t visit daily. I am honored that she deemed my blog worthy. I’d like to pass this on to another blog I visit regularly and who happens to be one of my original visitors:  Another Gray Hair.  Julianne manages to transform the ordinary into the fully engaging. A must read.

 

 I’ve also been awarded the Blogging Star from both Daria Black and Katie. Two more humble thanks from me to them. I’m grateful to have those two in my readership. And it is a pleasure visiting their blogs.

I accept these awards while sincerely hoping my viewers are actually entertained and that they leave with useful suggestions for dealing with the vacant minded.

I pass this Star Award on to two of my more recent visitors,  Happily Anonymous  (never a dull moment) and Motherwise (chock full of excellent advice), both of whom are always fun and enjoyable reads. My thanks to one and all!

Don’t stop thinking!

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com 

Posted in Miscellaneous | 5 Comments »