Recurring Stupidity Part 2

From last time, how to get rid of a recurring stuper (short, yet again, for an unambiguously stupid person). By recurring, I refer to those meager minds that steadily bombard us with unappetizing morsels of their mental shortcomings.

As you may recall from my previous post, during Naomi’s tireless telephone tirade, I industriously took care of a few domestic duties. This was a perfect way to offset the ridiculous ramblings of a stuper. Alas, after this call, Naomi did something quite disturbing. So disturbing that I cannot repeat it here, as I do not wish to highlight the unpleasant in any way.

I felt enormously upset. I kept thinking of Naomi, wondering how any one, especially a fairly close relative, could possibly be so ludicrous and hurtful all at once.

I wrote nasty, unsent letters to her, spilling forth what I could not say and ripped the missives into ant-sized pieces. I tried creating an effigy of Naomi (a remarkable likeness, if I do say so), and sticking pins in the most painful places. I conducted imaginary phone calls with her where I said my piece (this was particularly helpful; if one of my statements wasn’t eloquent or churlish enough the first time, I could have endless retakes). But I couldn’t rid myself of the anger I felt.

Let me backtrack a moment. As I mentioned in my last post, the almost identical scene had played out a few years earlier. I’d overcome my markedly negative feelings then by taking a certain course of action. Naomi had subsequently moved away, and I saw little of her. Peace was restored. Now, I had to do the same.

What did Napoleon, Garbo, Byron and Einstein all have in common? (Besides being sufficiently famous enough to be known only by their last names). Does the word exile ring a bell? In Garbo and Einstein’s cases, their banishment (Garbo from Hollywood, Einstein from his native Germany) was self-imposed. Banishment is the main ingredient in my secret to getting rid of recurring stupers.

We must exile the stupid among us. No, I don’t mean send them off to the Siberian wilderness, as appealing as that may be. I mean, stop thinking about them in a negative fashion. I changed the way I thought about Naomi, and she vanished from my mind. She and the problems she caused me, ceased to exist.

During the time I spent staying angry at Naomi, she decided she wanted to move once again… near me. That sounded as appealing as sitting on a beehive.

Naomi, indeed, bought a house close to mine not long after my phone call to her. I remembered what worked for me before in getting her out of my life. As we shared family members that I cared about, I could do nothing drastic. But I could once again banish Naomi from my mind. It took me a few months, but I changed the way I thought of Naomi.

When we try not to think about something, that very thing insists on staying in our mind.  So I didn’t try not to think of Naomi. Instead I replaced all my negative thoughts with positive ones about her. I wished her and her family well, hoping they all stayed happy and healthy and so on.

As unbelievable as this may sound, as soon as I stopped giving Naomi any negative time in my mind, she moved once again, far away and out of my life. It sounds metaphysical, even supernatural, but it is the truth. My cure is simple and effective. It merely requires taking control of your thoughts. Every time I permitted negative pictures of Naomi in, I gave her a prominent spot in my mind. And consequently, she kept reappearing in my life. Exactly where I didn’t want her to be.

Now, when I do occasionally see Naomi, I extend only kind words, if any, for my own sake. Once I’m done with the interaction, I’m done. Do not devote any time thinking or talking about the mentally incapacitated in your life. What we continuously think about, likely comes to pass.

Keep only the best thoughts in your mind!


8 Responses to “Recurring Stupidity Part 2”

  1. Mary says:

    Oh, yes. I love your technique. Brilliant. Why bother spending your hard earned energy to someone who doesn’t deserve it? It was worth waiting for.

  2. Starlily says:

    Awesome story! When there are difficult stupers in our lives that we HAVE to associate with, for our own peace of mind we have to focus on OUR mindset…doesn’t seem fair, but it works, so it’s worth it (whether it’s a relative or a boss…) Kindness and compassion are key. Thanks for the reminder!

  3. Julianne says:

    Who knew that the stupidity solution had nothing to do with the stuper? Great advice!

  4. dawn says:

    ahhh yes… “Thoughts become things – choose the good ones!”

  5. I love the name of your blog…and the writing, of course. Grand!

    Don’t know if you read the Twisted Sister blog but Insanity-Suits-Me (Dawn) over there tagged me with the Ten Random Facts About Me meme.

    Never been tagged – in a virtual sense at least – so I thought I’d pass it on to you!

    Have a look in my corner of the web marquee to read more and have a good weekend (I hope inspiration pours from every situation!).

  6. Jack Payne says:

    Sounds like you’ve had a lot of pent up anger to unload. Gotta find a release valve for that.

    Maybe the answer is an oversimplification, a simple, seemingly stupid mantra to recite. Sometimes this is the easy answer. How about something like: The hand that turns the knob opens the door (oh, pearls of great wisdom).

  7. mikster says:

    Sounds like you came up with a good solution. I’ve pretty much done the same thing with unpleasant family members.

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