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October 19, 2007 by Keli.
I’m going to indulge in a bit of Friday fantasy. In my world, existing rules are as easily bendable as the tentacles on a squid. The Powers That Be are sympathetic toward those authentic humans who must take stupidity in their own hands. The imagination may be utilized to eradicate (or at least have a little fun with) the meager minded. It’s agreed that stupers (once again, short for substantially stupid persons) must be dealt with swiftly and effectively and with as little trauma as possible to the victim.
My Reality: In an office building, I entered a ladies room with two stalls. One is occupied. Before I could even possibly consider opening the door to the other I heard,
“Anything you say to me is completely confidential.”
I wondered what made this stranger think I needed to talk to her and what she expected me to say. I then heard noises that were only tolerable when escaping from the bottom of a baby. Your own baby, that is. She continued, “Look, be at the Courthouse tomorrow at nine for the deposition.”
Aha! Multitasking stuper on cell phone in public restroom stall in the middle of conducting business while attending to necessary bodily functions. Poor thing had mistaken the toilet for a porcelain Lazyboy recliner.
At this point, the speaker flushed the toilet; she raised her voice several octaves and decibels in case people on neighboring floors couldn’t hear her and explained, “If you do it right, you’re gonna be able to take him for everything he owns. You’re gonna be a rich woman!”
My Fantasy: I yelled, “Shut up!” I heard applause from other unfortunate members of her captive audience in the hallway and offices next door. Holding a hankie to my nose with one hand, I closed my eyes and yanked open her door with my other hand. I reached out and blindly ripped the cell phone from her ear, tossed it over the top of her stall and heard the resounding and highly satisfying splash into the neighboring toilette. More applause ensued. I left knowing that the hollow headed person would probably not use a cell phone in this manner again.
There you have it. My 3.5 readers are welcome to submit their own Friday Fantasy tales starring their very own personal stuper(s) who get justly rewarded in a fitting way.
Keep thinking!
Keli
Keli@Counterfeithumans.com
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