Stupidity Gawks

Where there’s smoke, there’s a stuper (short for a conspicuously stupid person).

As you may know, fires have turned the blue skies of Southern California into a murky brown. Haze creeps along the hillsides and the air reeks of stale smoke. Thankfully, the fire near my home is under control. But there are many who are not as fortunate. Reports of the fires are all over the news, but what you may not hear about are the stupers.

Anytime there’s news of a disastrous situation, stupers feel a compelling urge to converge at the site of the calamity. They are irresistibly drawn to where they are least desired. The privacy of others becomes nonexistent.

I have a family member who lives near one of these fires. He had this to report,

“I can see flames as close as a mile away. We’re just waiting for word to evacuate. It’s getting dark and people are standing around. People I’ve never seen before. Looking for a place to park. Then getting out and just watching the flames. Our streets are usually quiet. Now they’re jammed. All I see is light from the fire and lights from cell phones. It looks like the Martians have landed.”

Stupers congregate to satisfy their insatiable curiosity and fascination with another’s misfortune. Plus, it gives them something to discuss for weeks, possibly in perpetuity.

There is only one cure for gawking stupers and that is, to put these meager minds to work. Give them axes, shovels and trays with water bottles and food to pass out to the hard-working fire fighters. Provide a portable blood donation vehicle and round up these stupers for donors (their brains may be deficient, but I feel confidant their blood is useable).

Potential spur-of-the-moment volunteerism would either deter stupers from rushing to disaster scenes or if they insist upon coming, it would make them useful. Even stupers like to be asked to help. It promotes a sense of self-importance, which they desperately need. It would also create productivity out of stupidity.



6 Responses to “Stupidity Gawks”

  1. M.C. says:

    I hate seeing people who hang out just to watch something bad going on. I think it’s a very good idea to make them useful!

  2. iamsmith says:

    I’ve seen these gawkers firsthand. They can’t tell the difference between a disaster and Disneyland.

  3. Suzie says:

    I think they just enjoy watching other people’s tragedy.
    It gives them satisfaction.

  4. Julianne says:

    It’s the same stupers parking on your family members block that clog up the interstate when there is an accident. They HAVE to see it. We all pay the price for their gawking.

    I’m so glad your home is OK.

  5. keli,

    I found this blog today scroll down until you get to the cake picture, it made me think of you immediately!

  6. andrew says:

    I like your blogs -most def about the super stupers-fire is a natural way for life to renew itself – this was probably caused by an arsonist-or just one of your stupers-with a cig-have a great day!

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