Scary Stupidity

Since it’s Halloween time, I thought I’d better come up with a haunting tale of stupidity. But then I realized every encounter with stupidity is scary.

As I drove down a narrow highway, I heard, then saw in my rear-view mirror, the flashing red lights of a fire engine racing along a short distance behind me. I also glimpsed a car, obviously operated by a stuper (short for a nincompoop, i.e., a stupid person). I say, “obviously” because although four vehicles ahead of me and I pulled over to the shoulder to allow the fire truck passage, the stuper’s vehicle plodded along ignoring the siren and lights. The dolt passed me, and he passed the car in front of me, before finally pulling aside.

Maybe “pulling aside” are the wrong words. He ambled over to the shoulder, then despite the fact that additional engines were fast approaching, this stuper decided to return partially into the lane to better view the crises.

I was fascinated yet disgusted by this wantonly outrageous behavior. Stupers believe their curiosity overrides an emergency situation.

Driving came to a standstill to permit the emergency vehicles to get by. Since it was difficult to watch the action from behind the wheel, this denizen of stupidity got out of his car. He then stood partly in the lane that the fire engines sped through, again to better view the disaster. The engines had to swerve a bit to avoid hitting him. Ah! Just a few more tiny steps out, and he might have been squashed.

I happened to have a camera on me. I took a photo in order to capture the expression and demeanor of a counterfeit human in progress. I’m afraid that I wasn’t close enough to capture anything more than the mere essence of this human embodiment of stupidity. I apologize, but I was unwillingly to leave my car and wander into the opposing lane just to take the stuper’s photo, even for my dear readers. However, I clearly saw the look of a stuper at work as he turned toward me to see if he was missing any action behind him.

Please indulge my attempt at describing this personification of stupidity:

  • Subject’s eyes were wide open, but glazed over and limited in scope (meaning he stared at the same place for some time before turning away);
  • Brows slightly raised indicated a possibly permanently imbued stunned look;
  • Mouth cracked open. I’ve noticed the mouths of many such people gape this way often providing a natural habitat for gnats and small flies. I speculate that this occurs because brain waves do not fully circulate or circulate at all. Consequently, the mouth is not given instructions regarding closure;
  • Physical movements were slow and haphazard since little, if any, thought transpired;
  • Blinking of the eyes happened at less frequent intervals than people of medium intelligence and higher.

Barring any medical conditions, drugs or alcohol forming the crux of such physical traits, the above describes the general physical attributes of a typical stuper.

I found myself haunted by the inane expression worn by this feeble minded fellow. So when it came time to carve a pumpkin for Halloween, this is what I ended up with:

A near perfect rendering of the hollow headed highway stuper.

Men can live without air a few minutes, without water for about two weeks, without food for about two months – and without a new thought for years on end. ~Kent Ruth

Just think!


3 Responses to “Scary Stupidity”

  1. I had my own run-in with a stupor today. I’m a college student, and while I was searching out a parking space, the person in front of me passed a space and proceeded to back up, going at least 15 miles an hour. She almost hit my car; she definitely wasn’t looking behind her as she backed up.

    There are so many stupors where I live who also happen to own motor vehicles, I’m almost afraid to drive to the supermarket. I’ve been in three car accidents in the past three or four months in which other people either blatantly backed into my car without checking to see I was there or pressed on their brakes a little too late and rear-ended me.

  2. Mary says:

    Love the quote – it is so true. I get so mad at this type of person. What if they needed the quick help from that emergency responder that they are getting in the way of? Ugh.

  3. Reilly says:

    I cannot believe how little people think, especially while driving! It’s heartbreaking, really, in a funny sort of way.

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