Give Stupidity a Time-out

“Kill himmmm!” someone screeched from the bleachers.

I had a problem with this. The screamer was yelling for someone to kill my then eight-year-old son.

The above battle cry did not come from a roving banshee. Nor did it emanate from a member of the Zamgoozee tribe from deepest, darkest Africa who somehow managed to master a few key terms in English. A parent/stuper (short for a distressingly stupid person) emitted said scream during a Tae Kwon Do meet at UCLA. Am I mistaken, or do I not live in a civilized part of the world? Isn’t California still considered civilized by some?

Kids from surrounding cities met in a match to display their prowess in martial arts. Physical contact was not permitted at the lower age levels; just a demonstration of proper moves by adorable trios of little wannabe Jackie Chans. Tae Kwon Do encourages yells by students (“Yah!”) in order to display power through muscle tension. Key words here are “by students” not “by stupers” sitting in the audience.

I read about such unseemly situations becoming so out-of-control that parents were carted off to jail for excessive behavior. Two dueling mothers set a Guinness Book World record for most utterances of b*&ch in a span of 42 seconds at a little league soccer match. A father was arrested for waving a .357 Magnum around like it was a parade streamer in the face of his son’s football coach. By the way, it was seven-and-under, peewee football.

These are instances of stupers attempting to give coaches and other parents a piece of their minds. This is severely taxing to all since the minds of these belligerent agitators are barren. It’s like turning out all trouser and jacket pockets and always coming up empty handed.

Does the fact that most of us parents spend a small fortune on classes and equipment entitle us to act like Babylonian warriors? Do we have kids so that we may perfect our little mini-selves in places where we fall short? Or is it just stupidity?

Parents who scream at students and coaches need to be thrown out or banned from such events and not permitted re-entry unless they agree to undergo rigorous sporting event etiquette training. Semi-sedation in the form of nitrous oxide (i.e., laughing gas) should be permitted in emergency situations. That would help lighten things up a bit.

The purpose of kids’ sports events is twofold. Fun and more fun. Hopefully enjoyable too for the parents who are quietly or contentedly observing in the stands.

Children should bring out the best in us. We can’t afford to allow ourselves to transform into stupers, especially in front of our kids at events that are meant to benefit them. Losing self-control is equal to stupidity. To do so in front of our children is monumental stupidity.

I hear there’s a dearth of role-models for today’s kids. Would it be too burdensome to remind parents that the best role models exist inside the home?

Think first, last and always!


4 Responses to “Give Stupidity a Time-out”

  1. Sarah says:

    Oh, I’ve seen these types of parents up close at soccer games. They take it way too seriously. I think it is stupidity!

  2. footiam says:

    Now, I think I know why children grow up to be so brash and violent!

  3. Kathy says:

    We’re going to read “Revolution in the Bleachers: How Parents Can Take Back Family Life in a World Gone
    Crazy Over Youth” for our PTA book club this winter. (see I hope it addresses situations like this. Same kind of thing happened at my son’s soccer game today. Why can’t parents just yell “Go team!” and “Great job!”?

  4. Susan says:

    Good post! My dad was one of these kinds of parents. It embarassed all of us kids to death. I wonder why parents don’t realize how their kids feel about this kind of behavior.

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