Stupidity Can’t, Won’t and Doesn’t Listen

January 22, 2008 by Keli.

An indisputable character trait of a stuper (short yet again for a jarringly stupid person) is the inability to listen when others are speaking. Listening means not interrupting, not performing a little jig mid conversation (unless requested to do so by the other party) and not abruptly changing the topic at hand to one more palatable to the stuper. Listening to another person entails nodding periodically, inserting comments or questions at appropriate intervals and making eye contact, all of which lie outside the restricted mind and cramped capabilities of stupers.

My friend, Stan, periodically meets his banker buddy, Bruce, for coffee. Bruce woefully lacks presentable listening skills. Stan pays attention and tries to be genuinely interested when Bruce talks; however, Bruce does not reciprocate. When Stan speaks, Bruce listens for about eight seconds, before shifting his gaze and his trifling mental cargo to others at neighboring tables, often with such intensity that Stan turns around to locate the subject of Bruce’s rapt attention. He usually finds Bruce engrossed in such exciting events as an elderly woman pouring sugar into her tea or a man reading a paper while devouring a donut. Mind boggling events from a stuper’s standpoint.

My fair-minded readers may be thinking that perhaps Stan’s topics of conversation are humdrum forcing poor Bruce to seek diversion elsewhere. Au contraire. Stan is a dynamic, energetic and engaging speaker. The real problem lies in the stuper’s ridiculous conviction that the sun rises because of him/her. Anything others have to say is uninteresting, unimportant and uninspiring unless, as I’ve mentioned earlier on, gossip, malice or scandal is involved. Or unless, the topic is about the stuper him/herself.

I had dinner at the home of my older son’s friend recently. I spent most of the evening listening to Myrtle, the mother of the friend. I heard how she bought, remodeled and furnished their home. Myrtle poured out details about everything from nasty neighbors who called her to inform her that the color of their newly painted home was putrid, to how Myrtle practically stole precious antiques from a hapless dealer. The conversation was not of my choosing, but I did my best to be a courteous listener.

The next time my son visited his friend’s house, Myrtle mentioned to him that she found me charming and intelligent. I had barely spoken a word. But I had listened. Mostly out of a sense of obligation, as she was the hostess. That’s what made me so appealing. I didn’t even have to utter a scholarly word so long as I appeared a good listener and allowed Myrtle to speak at immeasurable lengths about herself. I was a stuper’s dream.

In order to distinguish yourself from the stupers among us, make sure you train yourself to at least have a semblance of listening skills. If you find your thoughts wandering, fear not; try bringing your attention back. Focus on one-three important points in your companion’s tale or argument. This helps you to be an active listener according to media coach and CEO of Clarity Media Group, Bill McGowan.

If you truly are driven to madness from the tedium of a conversation and unable to escape, as I was with Myrtle, you have permission to allow your mind to wander. But please try not to be a conspicuous non-listener, like Bruce. Do pop in now and then with an “Oh, really!” or a “How nice!” After all, there are times when listening to another speak is truly gratifying. Since stupers are mostly unable to listen properly, they never experience the sense of engagement that comes from a worthwhile conversation.

Think for yourself.

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Plain Old Fashioned Stupidity | 9 Comments »