Stupidity Stands Too Close for Comfort and Sometimes Wears a Safari Hat for No Apparent Reason

February 21, 2008 by Keli.

I’m afraid I must revisit the topic of stupidity and the violation of personal space. The world appears to be littered with stupers (short, yet again, for inherently stupid persons) who have no qualms about intruding into the private zone of others. Since they have no concept of personal space, these meager minds excel at being personae non gratae - unwelcome visitors.

My husband, who’s always on the lookout for tales of the idiotic for me, spied a stuper in the parking lot of a deli. I asked Husband how he knew the fellow fell in the inane category.

“The chin strap gave him away,” he replied. “He was dressed in a safari outfit, and his hat had a strap under the chin. The only items missing were his elephant rifle and binoculars. He was obviously an oddball.”

Keep in mind that this took place in a nearby beach town where the closest thing to big game is the bushy-tailed tree squirrel.

Husband said he forgot about the oddity until he waited in line with our son to pay for lunch. As Son and Husband stood chatting, the safari guy suddenly appeared directly next to them, instead of behind, as the others did who were waiting in line. Then the chap opened a newspaper and positioned himself practically between them while he read. Husband claimed one side of the paper rested on his shoulder. As he and Son talked, the stuper stopped reading, lowered his paper and looked at them as if ready to join in. Husband said,

“He stood so close, I wasn’t sure whether he needed to be hugged or slugged. I was certain he was going to join in our conversation any moment. In fact, for a few minutes there, I thought he was part of the conversation; he was that close. What should I have done?”

There are stupers who unconsciously yearn for physical closeness… from anyone who crosses their path. Short of bending backwards at the waist, one must back away from those who get within necking distance until a respectable space is established. For most people, that’s about two to three feet. For others, five or ten feet may be comfortable. Sometimes, a prolonged look of disapproval may give the stuper a hint, if he’s not too thick in the head.

Think for yourself.

Keli
Keli@Counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Plain Old Fashioned Stupidity | 7 Comments »