How to Avoid Resembling the Epitome of Stupidity (Or How Not to Act Like a Stuper)

March 1, 2008 by Keli.

In order to avoid acting like a stuper (yes, short again, for a decidedly stupid person), I’ve developed guidelines or commandments which, if followed vigilantly, will aid one and all in at least appearing somewhat intelligent. Here are a small sampling:

1. Thou shall not babble on aimlessly when talking to others or to thyself;
2. Thou shall diligently use thy turn signal when changing lanes in traffic;
3. Thou shall not talk loudly on the cell phone while sitting in a stall in a public restroom, standing in line at the grocery store or while riding thy bicycle in the street;
4. Thou shall not be annoyingly nosy about the affairs of others;
5. Thou shall not relentlessly whine and complain about thy problems to everyone who crosses thy path;
6. Thou shall not readily dispense medical advice unless thou art a licensed physician (being married to one does not count);
7. Thou shall not allow thy dog to run loose all over the neighborhood and/or use neighbors’ front lawns or porch steps to deposit their duty;
8. Thou shall not form a human wall while strolling on the busy sidewalk so that no one may pass around thee;
9. Thou shall not lock thy lips on the bumper of the car in front of thee, thereby tailgating; and

10. Thou shall not allow thy gaping mouth to resemble a fly trap by leaving it partially open while maintaining a blank expression on thy face so thee looks like the epitome of stupidity.

This is only a partial list, but I think it’s a start. Should you catch yourselves, dear readers, engaged in any of the foregoing, please remember what category you may fall in.

There are only two races on this planet-the intelligent and the stupid. - John Fowles

Great minds think.

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Positive stupidity, Plain Old Fashioned Stupidity | 9 Comments »