In order to avoid acting like a stuper (yes, short again, for a decidedly stupid person), I’ve developed guidelines or commandments which, if followed vigilantly, will aid one and all in at least appearing somewhat intelligent. Here are a small sampling:
- Thou shall not babble on aimlessly when talking to others or to thyself;
- Thou shall diligently use thy turn signal when changing lanes in traffic;
- Thou shall not talk loudly on the cell phone while sitting in a stall in a public restroom, standing in line at the grocery store or while riding thy bicycle in the street;
- Thou shall not be annoyingly nosy about the affairs of others;
- Thou shall not relentlessly whine and complain about thy problems to everyone who crosses thy path;
- Thou shall not readily dispense medical advice unless thou art a licensed physician (being married to one does not count);
- Thou shall not allow thy dog to run loose all over the neighborhood and/or use neighbors’ front lawns or porch steps to deposit their duty;
- Thou shall not form a human wall while strolling on the busy sidewalk so that no one may pass around thee;
- Thou shall not lock thy lips on the bumper of the car in front of thee, thereby tailgating; and
10. Thou shall not allow thy gaping mouth to resemble a fly trap by leaving it partially open while maintaining a blank expression on thy face so thee looks like the epitome of stupidity.
This is only a partial list, but I think it’s a start. Should you catch yourselves, dear readers, engaged in any of the foregoing, please remember what category you may fall in.
There are only two races on this planet-the intelligent and the stupid. – John Fowles
Great minds think.
Keli
Keli@Counterfeithumans.com
Keli, you skipped one:
Thou should pay attention and listen, when some one is talking to them.
Good list… I’ll post it on my fridge as a reminder 🙂
“Thou shall not lock thy lips on the bumper of the car in front of thee …” LOL that made me laugh so hard. Wish my husband wouldn’t do it … also he refuses to use his turn signal when he changes lanes. He just drifts on over … *sigh of resignation* … I of course am blameless at all times …
I especially like # 3- (I would include public transit-it is annoying to have to listen to someone’s personal call on the train) and # 5 Some people only seem to be in their element when they are spreading their misery around, I have zero tolerance for whining…
Great list Keli! I also love the quote again, I’ve copied it out for my fridge 😉
Well, I can agree with this list!
And lol @ “Should you catch yourselves, dear readers, engaged in any of the foregoing, please remember what category you may fall in.”
Yes, I shall remember this!
I deem myself a stuper: I babble on aimlessly to myself all the time. However, I do consider that I obtain the most intelligent arguments from myself and quite enjoy a lively debate from time to time until I get bored and go to bed to get away from myself.
number five and nine are my pet hates!
i looking forward to reading more! gets the blood simmering.
I am pretty good with most of those items but I must admit I get caught on #1 from time to time. (Especially if I am nervous.)
haha…I like your tip#10! Whether you say or don’t say anything at all, you’d look embarassingly stupid in that expression!