When Stupidity Wears a Stethoscope

The ideal doctor-patient relationship is one in which the two enthusiastically partner together to successfully solve the patient’s health issue(s). And everyone lives happily ever after.

However, this may not be the case if a stuper (short yet again, for an unfalteringly stupid person) is involved. This occurs when there is a physician whose ego is so enormous, the patient can barely squeeze into the room with him.

I’m certain there are cases where the patient can be troublesome, but based on my personal experience, I’ve found that most often, it’s the lack of an open mind (one of the character flaws of stupidity) on the doctor’s part that contributes to stupidity.

A few years ago, Sam, became ill with a serious bacterial infection. He went from doctor to doctor, searching for a cause and a cure. He ended up seeing a total of ten physicians before making progress. Doctors #1-9 were idiots.

The first doctor passed him onto a specialist, Dr. B. After examining Sam, Dr. B prescribed a medication. Sam did some research. He learned that certain food allergies could have contributed to his infection.

“Should I keep a food diary or stay away from certain foods?” Sam asked. “Would that help me?”

“You can eat whatever you want,” Dr. B assured him.

Sam’s condition worsened, and the medication gave him a severe reaction and pain. Dr. B cut down the dosage, but Sam saw little improvement.

To make this long story short, Sam became a nomadic patient, traveling from physician to physician; his health only became worse.

“I kept thinking there was something in my diet that caused my illness,” Sam recalled. “I mentioned this to Doctor #7 who was a renowned specialist at UCLA. He too told me it was not food related. When I continued to ask him questions about foods, I really rattled his chain. Literally. He wore a heavy gold chain around his neck, and every time he got nervous, he’d grab hold of it and start shaking the thing. Anyway, he had me take numerous tests to find out what I was suffering from. In the end, he said he believed it was a bacterial infection. Sheer genius.

“I told Doctor #8 that the medication was making me worse. He told me he’d seen hundreds of patients every week for years, and not one had any type of reaction that remotely resembled mine. He sent me to a specialist. This specialist wanted to operate. She said it was my only hope. The thought of going under the knife made my knees buckle! I decided to try going off the drug, and told the specialist what I was doing. She thought I was crazy, but said I could try it for one month, and then she’d operate.”

“As soon as I went off the medication, the severe pain and the side effects vanished. But I still had numerous other problems from the infection.”

It wasn’t until Doctor #10 that Sam made real progress.

“This physician told me about a diet that helped some of his patients. I went on the diet. My bacterial infection soon disappeared. It had been that simple.”

The average doctor spends no more than twenty minutes per patient. Why don’t more physicians allocate more time for analysis and understanding? Yes, dear readers, it’s stupidity’s wicked cousin, greed, steadfastly at work.

I hope the noble members of the medical field realize that I’m not pointing my finger at them, but at the practitioners who entered the field with good intentions, but who either never found their calling or lost it along the way. Intelligent physicians do not regard patients collectively, as a whole, but as individuals, each with his own unique reactions and needs. There are excellent doctors out there; finding them is the key to obtaining a happy relationship.

How to tell if a doctor is a stuper:

  1. Wears too much jewelry (flaunting the way they spend fees is improper);
  2. Unwilling to listen;
  3. Closed minded;
  4. Speaks in medical mumbo jumbo; and
  5. Places ink on the feet of a pigeon to stamp prescription forms, ensuring that only an expert can decipher his mysterious medical code.

Thinking is a choice.



9 Responses to “When Stupidity Wears a Stethoscope”

  1. Jillian says:

    Oh man, this post is so right on target. Most of the doctors I’ve had the displeasure of dealing with ask me questions and cut me off before I can give them a complete answer. I feel like they barely listen to me. LOL… I’m amazed I’m still alive! OK not really. But yeah, if they would slow down and listen to the patient who knows how many visits and extra medication could be avoided!

  2. Ego is the first step toward becoming a stuper,for sure!

  3. M.C. says:

    This is too much! I can’t believe this patient tried to tell each doctor what he thought was wrong and no one would listen. That is terrible!
    I’ve never had a doctor partner with me. I’d love to find one who would.

  4. Starlily says:

    How frustrating! The difference between doctors who will and won’t listen is enormous. I think I have dealt with some of the worst. Because they have the degree, they won’t listen to a word I say, even though I have lived with my body my whole life…
    I also had the best experience with a doctor once, a naturepath who was just starting out, who sat down for a 20 minute conversation with me where she actually asked questions & listened. Together we solved a difficulty I had been having (panic attacks) where the first 3 doctors had just prescribed harsh medication that didn’t work.

  5. Suzie says:

    I think it is greed and ego.
    Each time I asked questions of my doctor, he would either nod or shake his head.
    It took me 30 to 45 min. in the waiting room and about 20 minutes in the exam room.
    It took him a total of 5 minutes to see me.

  6. dawn says:

    Good Post.
    It’s now my fourth week of taking my daughter back and forth to doctors who just DO NOT listen. Telling the same story over and over… is it her fault that her symptoms are vague and always changing? The bottom line is… her stomach hurts All The Time… that never changes. I am only now getting an appointment for an ultrasound. Tired of the runaround 🙁

  7. Keli says:

    I’m glad you’re still alive despite the doctors!
    New Diva:
    Ego is not reserved just for doctors or even professionals. I’ve had gardeners carried around enormous egos!
    I actually did find a doctor who partnered with me and it was wonderful!
    I just don’t understand why some are so quick to prescribe harsh meds. You’d think they’d start out more slowly or gently and work up to the last resort stuff.
    You are so right on about the time factor. They make you wait and then are in a big rush to get you out.
    Hang in there! I hope the ultrasound helps you find answers.

  8. Jennifer says:

    Ink on the feet of a pigeon! BWAAAAAAAHAHAHA! Girl you are so wise and so funny. Love it. I wear a black arm band (to signify the imminent death of reason) every time I have to visit a doctor. Luckily (knock on wood) the necessity to do such has heretofore been blessedly infrequent.

  9. As a medical student, I grab tonnes of chances of seeing this kind of situation happen lively in front of my eyes. I saw a case when the doctor chasing the patient out from his clinic just because that patient missed a number since he need to go the toilet. They are not just stupido, they are unethical as well. I pray so hard that I won’t be like them.

    Anyway, a good post telling the truth!

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