Stupidity Butchers Words and Names

March 22, 2008 by Keli.

Dawn of Twisted Sister Blog fame suggested that I write a post about word mis-pronouncers; coincidentally, I’ve been the victim of several name slaughterers in just the past few days. People who inadvertently mispronounce simple names and words are indeed stupers (short for uncommonly stupid persons), especially when the mispronunciation occurs after they ask how to pronounce the name. They ask; then proceed to mangle the innocent name to the worst of their ability.

My name is not actually Keli as some of my dear readers know, but it’s a simple, four-letter, two-syllable, easy-on-the-eyes and ears name that the average person with a semi or fully functioning mind should be capable of pronouncing. It’s similar to Lisa. How many different ways are there to say the name Lisa? Is it ever Lye-sa? Ly-si-a? Lehsa (short e)? How about Linsa? My first name is mispronounced so freakin’ often, I’m surprised I haven’t suffered an identity crises.

This is not a matter of “You say potato (long a), I say potato (short a). This is a matter of the intellectually impoverished mind’s inability to correctly pronounce a name immediately after being given detailed instruction on just how to say it.

I made two phone calls yesterday: one to the local YMCA billing department and the other to a large retailer. I told both representatives my name a few times. I spoke slowly and clearly. Both repeated it correctly, then proceeded to mangle it a minimum of six times afterwards.

I do not exert energy correcting people who commit this error anymore. It’s a means of spotting stupers.

If a word is complex or one that’s seldom seen or heard, okay. Foreign words (including Latin) may be forgivably mispronounced also.

In college, I remember a fellow student answering the Prof’s question, using “Illinoise” in his response, instead of Illinois. Everyone laughed, including the Professor and other students. I did not laugh. This poor student was being grilled by the instructor and was nervous. I’m certain he did not repeat that error. However, if he did indeed continue referring to the state as “Illinoise,” and English was his first language, then the lad was a genuine counterfeit human (I finally get to use an oxymoron).

Dawn’s stuper said “portpolio” for portfolio. Dawn says she used to correct him, but gave up. Barring medical issues or perhaps a genetic disorder, this type of willful mispronunciation is yet another inexplicable character flaw of a stuper.

Just think.

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Plain Old Fashioned Stupidity | 6 Comments »