Stupidity Butchers Words and Names

Dawn of Twisted Sister Blog fame suggested that I write a post about word mis-pronouncers; coincidentally, I’ve been the victim of several name slaughterers in just the past few days. People who inadvertently mispronounce simple names and words are indeed stupers (short for uncommonly stupid persons), especially when the mispronunciation occurs after they ask how to pronounce the name. They ask; then proceed to mangle the innocent name to the worst of their ability.

My name is not actually Keli as some of my dear readers know, but it’s a simple, four-letter, two-syllable, easy-on-the-eyes and ears name that the average person with a semi or fully functioning mind should be capable of pronouncing. It’s similar to Lisa. How many different ways are there to say the name Lisa? Is it ever Lye-sa? Ly-si-a? Lehsa (short e)? How about Linsa? My first name is mispronounced so freakin’ often, I’m surprised I haven’t suffered an identity crises.

This is not a matter of “You say potato (long a), I say potato (short a). This is a matter of the intellectually impoverished mind’s inability to correctly pronounce a name immediately after being given detailed instruction on just how to say it.

I made two phone calls yesterday: one to the local YMCA billing department and the other to a large retailer. I told both representatives my name a few times. I spoke slowly and clearly. Both repeated it correctly, then proceeded to mangle it a minimum of six times afterwards.

I do not exert energy correcting people who commit this error anymore. It’s a means of spotting stupers.

If a word is complex or one that’s seldom seen or heard, okay. Foreign words (including Latin) may be forgivably mispronounced also.

In college, I remember a fellow student answering the Prof’s question, using “Illinoise” in his response, instead of Illinois. Everyone laughed, including the Professor and other students. I did not laugh. This poor student was being grilled by the instructor and was nervous. I’m certain he did not repeat that error. However, if he did indeed continue referring to the state as “Illinoise,” and English was his first language, then the lad was a genuine counterfeit human (I finally get to use an oxymoron).

Dawn’s stuper said “portpolio” for portfolio. Dawn says she used to correct him, but gave up. Barring medical issues or perhaps a genetic disorder, this type of willful mispronunciation is yet another inexplicable character flaw of a stuper.

Just think.

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com

7 Responses to “Stupidity Butchers Words and Names”

  1. Sarah says:

    I really, really don’t like people who can’t pronounce names properly. Just like you said, you tell them how and they still mess it up. Stupers are just too much!

  2. Jennifer says:

    Oh mercy! You do not want to get me started on this … but I mean, what about mispronunciation of simple words in general? Our pastor (you don’t want to get me started on that subject EITHER) today kept saying the Roman Shoulders beat Jesus before they crucified Him. (The problem is NOT a speech impediment). He also refers to one member of the Godhead as the Holy Shpirit. AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH.

  3. Jillian says:

    LOL… people used to mispronounce my name wrong when I was a kid. They called me “Gilligan” or “Julian” or some other stupid crap that annoyed me to death. IT’S NOT THAT HARD!

    But yeah, when people mispronounce words, I always have a laugh at their expense, because… it’s funny.

    When I was going to church, there was a Pastor who ALWAYS said “pacific” instead of “specific”. ARGH! Did he not know? So yeah, everytime I heard it, I could only shake my head and try to concentrate on the other stuff he was saying.

  4. Paulyn says:

    I do encounter that problem too often. My ear would hurt so bad whenever people pronounce my name with that big “AW” sound, as in “PAWLIN”. I would have to remind them that it comes from the name Paul, and should be pronounced the same way. What makes it worse is when the stupers would continue by singing that song that goes “…and now I’m fallin,” That would just piss me off all the time!

  5. Keli says:

    Sarah:
    Stupers are just messed up!
    Jennifer:
    Oh, now that would get on my nerves (if I wasn’t a stupidity specialist, of course).
    Jillian:
    Gilligan? I hope it was just kids who didn’t know any better and mispronounced your name. “Pacific” for “specific” would drive me nuts!
    Paulyn:
    Oh dear! I hope you’re immune to it now. There’s just no changing most people, so you gotta change the way you look at things so it doesn’t affect you.

  6. Jillian says:

    Eww, I just reread what I wrote. I can’t believe I said “mispronounced wrong”. Oh good grief. I am shamed, and rightly so. 🙁

  7. This is a whole new ball game.

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