Stupidity is an Exhibitionist

If one is alone in a room without benefit of a television, radio, telephone or other communication device, is this a guarantee of avoiding an encounter with a stuper (short for an arbitrarily stupid person)? Not necessarily.

My sister, Vanessa, is a real estate agent who owns a condo in a high rise building. Her building is actually one of two identical structures; building #2 connects to her #1 in an L shape. She rents out her place to a soon-to-be divorced guy.

Vanessa has a condo listed in building #2. These units are all light, airy, with plenty of large windows.

Last Sunday, Vanessa held an open house for her listed unit. She was early so she strolled over to the living room window to enjoy the city view. She happened to glance at building #1, one floor down, and realized that she could look directly into the kitchen of her place. She admired her lovely black granite counters.

Then she noticed a large candle burning brightly on the counter. As she continued gazing at her kitchen, a stuper walked over to the candle and blew on it. Not a soft, gentle blow one would normally use when blowing out a candle, but more like the kind a hollow headed sort may use to attempt to budge a full-size rowboat anchored in still water.

Instead of putting out the light, the mindless wonder succeeded in splattering hot candle wax all over the counter. Incidentally, the stuper was buck naked.

The stuper stared at the wax for awhile, as stupers are wont to do, then moved out of Vanessa’s sight. She quickly returned with a large, sharp knife and proceeded scraping the rapidly drying wax. Before Vanessa could open the window and scream,

“You’re scratching my freakin’ counters!”

the studist (short for a spontaneously stupid nudist) started covering the wax droppings with various nearby objects – salt and pepper shakers, a vase, teapot, the toaster – everything but the kitchen sink. After she rearranged the countertop, she left, presumably to get dressed.

Vanessa’s irritation was assuaged by the fact that she’d secured a hefty deposit from the tenant. What were the odds of Vanessa standing at the window the exact time that the stupidity occurred not only in a neighboring unit, but in her own place, no less?

Standing naked before a large curtainless window in plain sight of many similar windows does not necessarily make one a stuper. Trying feebly to cover up a careless deed does. Stupidity rarely goes unnoticed.



8 Responses to “Stupidity is an Exhibitionist”

  1. Sarah says:

    Seeing a stuper in action in the raw? I sure hope your sister wasn’t traumatized by this incident.

  2. Jillian says:

    LOL. How dare she ruin perfectly nice expensive countertops. Stupidity obviously doesn’t care about preserving nice things, either. Argh!!

  3. Suzie says:

    Seeing some one unexpectedly buck naked sure would traumatize me.
    She went beyond the call of stupidity.

  4. Jennifer says:

    OHO! Stupidity a la Rear Window! Hilarious.

  5. Elaine says:

    Argh is right! I would be so pissed off! This is a pretty remarkable story that she was actually able to see all this “live” as it was happening.

  6. dawn says:

    LOL… how weird to catch her in action! Naked action 😉
    Thank God for damage deposits!

  7. Keli says:

    I’m afraid she was traumatized. She is currently in therapy(;
    Stupidity definitely does not care!
    Let’s hope you never have to encounter what my sister did then.
    I didn’t think of that! But you’re so right – it was a sort of Rear Window Meets Stupidity.
    I could hardly believe the timing myself! What were the odds?
    Yes, the deposit helped lessen the trauma!

  8. Maribeth says:

    For a moment, I felt like a stupor. I thought this naked chic was walking around in your sister’s apartment,which scared me more than the fact that she was naked and doing stupid things. After reading, I realized she was a tenant in an apartment that your sister owned.I was a bit relieved to know she was not an intruder.
    Boy, do I feel stupid-hahahaha

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