Say No to Stupidity!

My husband (H) finally turned to the dark side. Well, not exactly the dark side; more like the empty-headed side, where thoughts continually escape like balloons in a park on a windy day. Where stupers (short, as you know, for mercilessly stupid persons) roam and annoyingly play.

I joined H on a short business trip to Los Angeles. As you may be aware, Turn Signal Deficit Disorder exists in plague like proportions in major cities. LA is no exception. We watched cars spontaneously drift in and out of freeway lanes at will, cutting off other vehicles, without care or remorse. Stupers regard the turn signal as an unnatural, complex, even tricky mechanism. One that requires exhaustive effort for the mentally bankrupt.

H suddenly announced that he would use the turn signal no longer.

“What’s the point?” he asked. “No one bothers. No one cares. No one even notices. Why should I?”

I knew that attitude just wouldn’t do. For me to have a stuper or even a pseudo stuper for a husband would be the same as a police officer being married to a felon or a shrink married to a nutcase or a politician married to a saint. How would it look for a stupidity specialist to be married to a dolt?

I bided my time.

Overcome by guilt and discomfort in not using the efficient and simple communication device otherwise known as the turn signal, H’s rebellion lasted all of twenty-two minutes. He used the signal to safely indicate to all interested parties that we were exiting the freeway.

On our way home, we followed a car that diligently used its signal. This vehicle happened to change lanes frequently, in a safe manner, always giving proper notice. It was such a pleasure to be around an intelligent driver. And it didn’t hurt the cause that he happened to be driving a brand new Aston Martin. The sight of such conspicuous, persisent exercise of thought while driving a motor vehicle filled us with tears of joy.

As H dried my eyes, (rest assured that he had pulled over at this time), he announced,

“I would always use my signal if you were driving behind me in your car.”

And that is why I married him.

Meanwhile, be strong, dear readers. Don’t give in to the idiots around you. Do not take the easy way out. Continue to use your minds and cultivate your intelligence. Since the majority of people do not think, imagine how far you can get; oh, the dreams that you can achieve! There’s great pleasure one gives to oneself and to others when exercising a bit of thought.

Why not think?


6 Responses to “Say No to Stupidity!”

  1. Jillian says:

    Once again another excellent post! Never drop down to the level of a stuper!

    I’ll have to remember this as I am tempted A LOT!

  2. dawn says:

    “I would always use my signal if you were driving behind me in your car.”
    Awwww…. that’s so sweet! I’m still in my sappy mood 🙂

  3. Jennifer says:

    I am a notoriously neurotic turn-signal user married to a non-stuper (I think … I mean, he was smart enough to marry me … who is that SNICKERING?) who nevertheless HATES to use his turn signal! It DRIVES me crazy! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ….

  4. Paulyn says:

    You’re just talking about turn signals…if you were here, Keli, you’d probably dread being on the roads at all! My s/o is an American. He swore to let me do the driving because he just couldn’t stand rampant reckless driving on the roads here!

  5. Sarah says:

    There’ve been so many times that I felt like turning to the other side. Forget the “excuse me’s” and “thank you’s”. I did think why bother? But then I realized I didn’t like myself much. It feels so much better to be a thinker!

  6. Keli says:

    Thank you!
    I like sappy moods!
    Never fear; there’s always hope that your hubby will reform and actually use his signal. I believe there’s a turn signal anonymous…
    Perhaps I should conduct a seminar where you are on the importance of driving while using awareness. Don’t tell me that only stupers drive on your roads!
    Good for you for coming to an intelligent realization. Stupidity is not pretty.

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