Never a Borrower or a Lender to Stupidity Be

It’s a well known fact that should money be loaned to or borrowed by a stuper (short for an abysmally stupid person), said money will not be paid back. Ever. It’s akin to burying the money in quicksand.

In my pre-stupidity specialist days, I’d made such loans. But that was before I fully understood the consequences of engaging in a financial transaction with a charter member of the Stupid-Among-Us Club. My husband and I once made a very large loan to a relative. Years later, we experienced financial difficulties. The idiot borrower/ sister-in-law relation had not yet repaid. She’d secured steady income working as a professional, but decided to repay just a fraction of the loan which, to her pea size brain, equaled full payment. Perhaps her math skills were simply not up to speed. Or perhaps my husband and I should have hired a couple of thugs to beat her up in a dark alley with us as audience.

Despite my fervent pledge of never loaning money unless it’s to a genuine, authentic human, known personally to me, I did just that, almost two months ago. The amount was very small compared to the above loan; I paid for a hotel room to be shared by two of my son’s golf mates after being requested to do so by the parents. I’d driven them all to a golf tournament, and we ended up needing to spend the night.

One thoughtful, responsible parent repaid me immediately. The other, however, has not, and most likely will not. She initially told me she’d give me the cash right away. It didn’t happen. I called her a few weeks ago, and she apologized profusely for her forgetfulness, promising to send out a check forthwith. You can guess why I’m writing this. But it is my own fault. This parent was known to me as a stuper whose mind, like a hummingbird, flitted, from subject to subject with little rest. How could she possibly remember? Most stupers, as my dear readers know, are victims of ROA (Rapid Onset Amnesia). In the case of this last stuper, she may have additionally suffered from an inability to properly address and mail an envelope and/or to navigate her Suburban to my house which is a good five miles away from her own.

Some people who loan money are actually paid back. Maybe even by stupers. But, lack of repayment by a stuper can lead to, at a minimum, irritability of the lender.

In order to maintain one’s sanity, it’s imperative to keep proper perspective. Perhaps some difficulty prevented the borrower from repayment, other than inferior mental faculties.

The most important factor should be the well being of your own mind. If attempts to collect have been fruitless, think about the additional cost to your peace of mind in pursuing the matter. Maybe if the amount is small and you can afford it, let the matter go. If not, then communicate with the stuper until you receive back what is your’s; if necessary and possible, collect in person or have a third party do it for you.

I believe that if you can and would like to help another person financially, you should. But to ensure repayment, be firm and clear. Reduce it to writing. Especially if a large sum is involved. Otherwise, look upon it as a gift or donation. You’ll know what to do the next time they come a borrowin’.

Take time to think.


4 Responses to “Never a Borrower or a Lender to Stupidity Be”

  1. dawn says:

    Great advice! From the girl who loaned her brother countless dollars despite never being paid back. Turned out I was the stuper and he was the smart one… until I smartened up. Now no loans under any circumstances. Live and learn!

  2. Sarah says:

    You know the saying: the surest way to lose a friend is to loan them $. I recently was asked to loan $100 to a friend. She asked if I could bring it to her since she had no car. I live far away from her, but I delivered it. I waited outside her building because I was late for an appointment and asked her to come down and get it. She said she couldn’t because she was making herself some coffee! I told her to get her butt down now if she wanted the $! She did finally. I know I’ll never get it back, but I felt like she needed it more than me.

  3. Jillian says:

    Why do we sometimes knowingly loan money to people we know will not pay us back? Is it our way of being optimistic??

  4. Keli says:

    At least you learned something! Stupers rarely do.
    Stupers do have a lot of nerve, don’t they?
    Maybe, but I also think that most people, being inherently good, do actually want to help other people. I’ve reached this conclusion even after studying the stupid among us.

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