Stupidity While Driving Does Not Necessarily = A Ticket

We all have stuper (short, yet again, for an astoundingly stupid person) moments, perhaps even while operating a motor vehicle. In my own driving history, I’ve sometimes surpassed (just barely, mind you) the speed limit or possibly broken a few inconsiderable laws, such as driving over a curb while searching for my lost cat or easing through a stop sign that looked all but abandoned. I wasn’t exactly breaking any regulations. Not really by all that much, anyway. For all of us, these stuper moments may invite contact with members of the police force.

I’ve been driving for quite a while, and I’ve been pulled over at least a half a dozen times. Only once have I actually received a ticket. Not that I didn’t necessarily deserve more, but I believe that proper, respectable, pleasant and courteous interaction with officers of the law can lead to a happy and mutual parting of company without involving any costs due and payable by the driver.

My first time involved an officer following me home after I drove the car up and down a curb that got in the way of my search and rescue maneuvers. I’d been looking for my missing, elderly cat, which, it turned out, was dozing behind the washing machine. I firmly, but politely, explained the reason for my flustered driving, and the kindly officer bowed graciously and left me alone without any parting paperwork.

My sole ticket was the result of my speeding in the fast lane on the freeway (where else?). When the nice officer pulled me over, I immediately apologized. I had nothing to hide; I knew I was driving over the limit and told him so. I truthfully explained that it was my first day at a new job; I was nervous as well as distracted. He asked me how fast I thought I was going. I knew then that the time for negotiation had arrived. I knocked off ten miles from my actual speed. He agreed and handed me my ticket. And that was thankfully that.

Another time, an officer insisted I rolled through a stop sign without fully stopping. I respectfully asked him how that could possibly be true? No mother with two young children in the car would ever behave so rashly, and in truth, I was fairly certain that I had stopped completely and legally. The officer, who must have noticed that I seemed the responsible sort, merely gave me a warning and allowed me a free pass.

Lest you think (as I have often heard in the past by disgruntled males) that I am let off for being a woman, just the other day, my husband (H) was also given a free pass when pulled over for speeding on the highway. H admitted to going 70 mph in a 55 mph zone and apologized to the officer, explaining that there was a great tune on the radio, no cars around, and that he somehow lost himself in the beauty of the moment. Noting that the officer had little sympathy at that point, H suddenly realized he’d met the man before.

“Don’t you remember me?” H asked. “You helped me once when I had a problem with my car. You told me that you like motorcycles. So do I!”

The officer did remember. And so began a lovely friendship, and the issuance, thankfully, of a mere warning to H to pay more attention next time.

Should you find yourself engaged in a stuper driving moment, my dear readers, involving the unwelcome appearance of a law enforcement officer, get a firm grip on yourself. Don’t give in to stupidity. Realize that a stuper would most likely become annoyed or argumentative when asked to pull over by police for a potential driving violation. Instead, keep your wits about you. Communicate as honestly as you deem feasible and without incrimination. And always act courteously. It doesn’t hurt to smile at the officer who probably doesn’t receive many during the course of his/her day.

Think first, last and always.

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

6 Responses to “Stupidity While Driving Does Not Necessarily = A Ticket”

  1. Jillian says:

    Ahh you are so right. There were a few times just being friendly and honest has gotten me out of a ticket.

    I remember once I was driving out to the H’s apartment (who was then my boyfriend) on a Friday night. This was when I worked nights at the airport (so it was like 2AM), anyway I was pulled over by an officer. I exited the freeway and pulled to the side of the road. The officer informed me he had to speed up to 101mph JUST to catch up to me (oops! LOL). He asked me why I was driving so fast and I calmly replied with, “Look, I hate my job and it’s Friday night. I was just trying to get home and start my weekend.” He gave me a warning and told me to slow down. And I did!

    Yeah.

  2. Julianne says:

    What about those of us who freeze up completely when faced with a uniformed police officer? I turn into a blubbering idiot that has a better chance of achieving Olympic gold than negotiating speed.

  3. Reilly says:

    You’re right. It depends on how you treat the police. This happened to me once when I was lost in an area I was not familiar with. I got so frustrated that I sped off in search off the nearest major street. Naturally, I was pulled over. I explained and apologized to the officer and he was so nice! He gave me a warning and showed me the way out.

  4. dawn says:

    Which lends truth to the old adage… you get more flies with honey than vinegar 🙂

  5. Jennifer says:

    AARRRRGGGH! TG ALWAYS gets a pass when he’s pulled over (happened just a few months ago when we were headed up to NC to see our granddaughter). I, on the other hand, am always given “parting paperwork.” Luckily it’s been many years since this has transpired (knock on wood).

    The visual of you driving up on curbs and being detained for it while your cat catches z’s behind the dryer cracks me up.

  6. Keli says:

    Jillian:
    I always like to hear about happy endings! Friendly and honest works!
    Julianne:
    Looks like you need more practice. You might want to use a mirror at home or picture the officer as your friendly neighborhood law enforcer. I know you can do it!
    Reilly:
    Great! Another happy police pullover ending!
    dawn:
    Yes, I completely agree. Sometimes it’s so tempting to swat those flies though!
    Jennifer:
    Good for TG who defies the male stereotype. He must be quite a charmer! May you never receive parting paperwork again!

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