As Stupidity Turns or The Stupidity Zone

Placing a simple ad in the classified section of a small town newspaper should be as easy as tying a shoelace, pumping gas, buying eggs at the market, ordering fries from a fast food chain….let’s face it: nothing is easy when a stuper (short once again, for a bewilderingly stupid person) is involved. The most minute task becomes convoluted and muddled when an idiot raises his empty head.

Once upon a time, five years ago to be exact, a quaint, little newspaper reported in my drowsy country town. This paper was chock full of grammatical errors and erroneous information, but such mistakes merely added to its charm in this day and age of spell-check and re-check. Townspeople gently shook their heads, smiled and sighed; after all there were worse things in life.

When residents wished to place ads, often a donation of a dozen food cans to a local charity sufficed as payment. Life was good.

Fast forward to current day. A conglomerate purchased said paper. Husband (H) wishes to place, what he mistakenly believes to be, a simple ad. He comes to rue the day.

H enters reception area of newspaper office.

H: Good morning! I’d like to place an ad for an unfurnished house for rent, please.

Receptionist: (rapidly blinks her eyes, presumably in a feeble effort to jump start the brain) We don’t have ads like that here.

H: (quickly realizes that he needs to speak in plain English) I’d like to place an ad under “Houses for rent.”

Receptionist: (shuffling through a mass of paperwork) I don’t have any forms here…

H:(ever efficient) No problem. I typed it all out for you, along with my personal info.

Receptionist: Well, the person who handles these ads isn’t here.

H either looks severely crestfallen or explosively maniacal because Receptionist quickly picks up the phone and calls Crappyanna. (Dear readers: the beauty of writing one’s own blog is that one may name and rename characters as one pleases as well as speak in the third person at will). Crappyanna (C) was in charge of classified advertising.

H explains his request to C and asks what the best rate would be for such an ad. Don’t blame H for asking these complex questions. He tends to err on the intellectual side. Naturally, C was stumped by the question. H asks how much an ad for one day would cost.

C: Fifty dollars.

H: FIFTY DOLLARS! My last ad cost $8.95!

C: That was a long time ago.

H: Please look it up on your records. My last ad was recent.

C: It was way back in ’07.

H: That’s right. It was six months ago. Why is it so high now?

C: We’ve had a few increases. Plus, you’re a real estate broker.

H: Does it cost more if I’m in real estate?

C: (dumbfounded by the gravity of the question, is mute at the other end).

H: I know exactly what we should do…..

My dear, intelligent readers, please tune in on Wednesday for the conclusion of As Stupidity Turns.

Great minds like to think.


7 Responses to “As Stupidity Turns or The Stupidity Zone”

  1. Jillian says:

    What the?? LOL… What should they do?? And LOL @ “That was a long time ago..”

    Geez… how do some people find their way outside, and to a job no less?

  2. Sarah says:

    That’s no fair! I want to know what happens now! I guess I’ll have to be patient. I do not want to act like a stuper!

  3. M.C. says:

    I can only imagine. Was everyone in that office a stuper?

  4. Jennifer says:

    I’m on pins and needles for this one! Pray conTINue …

  5. Paulyn says:

    I can just imagine how stressed out your hubby was after dealing with one stuper after another! Can’t wait to read the conclusion!

  6. don’t tell us he offered to place the ad as a private citizen and she went for it?!

  7. Keli says:

    There are so many stupers out there (3 out of 5 people) so it it no surprise that stupidity begets stupidity. This is how they get a job.
    Thank you for your patience.
    As far as H could tell, yes, everyone in the office suffered from the meager mind syndrome.
    I’ll do my best!
    Yes, he was upset. He immediately reported to me; I jotted down notes and reported it to you.
    Close, but thankfully, he managed a better ending than that as you shall see!

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