Stupidity on the Corner and in the Street

I love visiting Santa Barbara, California. It’s lovely and wild and grand and seedy and elegant; a patchwork quilt made of satin, silk, velvet and potato sack squares. Which means fistfuls of stupidity exist here and there.

In particular, there’s a stretch, more accurately, a half-block portion, embedded between bustling downtown and the sandy beach that reeks of stupers (short, yet again, for those woefully inadequate stupid persons). It was there that I witnessed a meager minded mother behind a stroller, waiting at the intersection corner. Sounds innocuous, except that the front of the stroller, carrying a round-faced cherub, sat at a downward slope, firmly planted in the street, daring passing traffic to play a rollicking game of tag while Mom stood impatiently, but safely on the sidewalk. It’s not pretty to watch frozen thought processes that likely wouldn’t even respond to jump-starting. Which reminds me, this same parent dressed warmly in sweater and knitted cap, as it was a little cool at the resort-like, yet positively popular, bohemian beach city. Baby’s bare feet dangled while the practically hairless and uncovered little head bobbed in the gentle ocean breeze. The good news was that both made it across the street. The bad news is that I next witnessed something like this:

Take note that this daredevil parent is not in any crosswalk and is maneuvering herself and her child across four lanes. Shouldn’t there be helmets? Air bags? Safety belts, a seeing-eye-dog or a police escort for this type of travel?

Finally, as I drove my merry way past this same half block yesterday, I was abruptly made to stop. No, my brakes didn’t malfunction nor did a stray couch land with a thump in front of my car. As I rounded the corner I saw a small, skinny stuper, standing in the middle of the lane. My lane.

No attempt was made to dart out of the way. In fact, my car didn’t even startle him into budging. I stopped in front of him, so close I could see the whites of his eyes and the Scooby Doo tattoo on his forearm.

I also noticed from his unmoved, cavalier expression that he was held securely in the very palm of stupidity. He moved a few steps closer to the sidewalk, but still resided in the lane. Was he playing chicken? Or was he trying to discover whether his membrane was so permeable that I could pass right through him? My mind went into spin cycle mode, trying to understand.

I gave him Look #2 (reserved for monumental cases of stupidity when nothing else seems to work). The kind of look that could shrivel an onion and curl the toes on a crow. He moved. I drove on. I looked back in my rear view mirror, and he was at it again.

Thinking is fast becoming a lost art. Imagine the price it’ll fetch for those who actually use their minds.

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com


5 Responses to “Stupidity on the Corner and in the Street”

  1. the mind boggles.

    the thing that actually gets be cursing (seriously cursing) is seeing mothers who have their children roaming around the car without seatbelts.

    i thought children were suppose to be the most important thing in your life, the thing that you would die for and yet there are legions of idiot mothers who simply don’t seem to care.

    if i were a policeofficer i would pull them over and give them the bollocking of their lives.

    p.s. this is on my top five of things that make me crazy. usually i am not so aggressive 😉

  2. I think I may have made a comment similar to this on here or maybe another blog, but I’ll say it again because it really pisses me off. People who dawdle along crosswalks or in the middle of the road after their right of way has long vanished deserve to be nailed by cars. These damn idiots rely on the thought that no one would ever hit them. Someday I hope to be the insane driver to change all of that.

  3. Sarah says:

    The number of idiot moms is astounding! What about the ones who just let their kid run wild in the supermarket, pushing a mini cart into everyone’s knees, playing in the bulk item bins with their sticky, icky hands. Yuck! These stuper moms make no attempt to control their kids!

  4. Jennifer says:

    The kind of look that could shrivel an onion and curl the toes on a crow.

    Girl you are hysterical. You make me laugh. I cannot believe that woman on the Segway, pushing a stroller. There oughta be a law.

  5. Jillian says:

    I think Sully Sullivan pretty much said it all!

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