Smacking of Stupidity

I’m currently away at a junior golf tournament with younger Son. I felt so certain that I could complete my latest post and publish it, but alas, it’s still floating around in my drafts file, half-baked. I haven’t had much of a chance to sit, spending most of my time walking the courses and watching my child.

I would like to leave my dear readers with an observation that I think applies to intelligent life in general, and unfortunately, smacks of stupidity: in order to avoid behaving like a stuper (short, again, for a disenchantingly stupid person), keep a positive attitude. Especially about a child’s accomplishments. So what if they paint outside of the lines, miss a birdie putt or permit the violin bow to do a fine imitation of sandpaper? A little encouragement and soon their performance will greatly improve.

Parents usually walk with their juniors during a tournament. After they introduce themselves to me, the first comment almost invariably goes something like this:

“Junior is not playing his best today. His wrist hurts.” or “He’s working on a new swing and it’s just not ready.” or “He didn’t sleep well last night.” or my favorite, “Junior had no time to practice. He woke up, rolled out of bed, suffered a concussion, needed three stitches and that’s why he’s not playing well.”

All this before the round has barely begun. Often parents make excuses for their child, expecting the worst. This is no more than fear festering. Is this the kind of example we want to set for our children? One of worry, anxiety and fear? I should know. I once was (and to a minor extent still am) a worrier when it came to my kids. But I’ve realized along the way, that my worry serves absolutely no purpose other than clouding my mind and preventing me from enjoying the present moment.

When Junior does miss a putt, I’ve seen parents hurl themselves to the hard, grassy ground, slamming their fists down and kicking their sneaker laden feet, tears streaming down their faces, crying “Why me?” I’m afraid I’ve also viewed parents giving their kids sharp dagger looks that say, “Just wait ’til we get home.” For heaven’s sake, it’s just a game.

I’m not a perfect parent. I suffer a certain amount of volatility, not like an active volcano, but more like a hummingbird who needs a nectar fix. But I’ve learned that patience and encouragement does wonders for a child’s self-esteem and promotes the best thoughts.

Keep a perfect picture in your head of the way you’d like things to be in your life. Polish it. Make it shine. And it will come to pass. If the pictures you paint are less than perfect, well, you know in whose blog you could be appearing.

Thinking is an asset.

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

4 Responses to “Smacking of Stupidity”

  1. Ferd says:

    Great post, Keli.
    It reminded me of my son, Kevin, when he was a little boy playing hockey. And he was a good, tough, rockem sockem kind of player. Of course, you win some and you lose some. I remember after one of his losses, parents and players moaning and crying like the parents you describe. But Kevin would come out of the locker room with a smile on his face. He always played hard and always enjoyed it, win or lose. He would say what you said, “It’s just a game. We have another one tomorrow.” He taught me that, among many other things.

  2. Jenny says:

    Fantastic post, Keli. One of your best.

    I was bemoaning recently to an old and wise friend that a direction my son’s life has taken was not what I had envisioned. “But,” my friend counseled me, “He isn’t required to live your vision.”

    I (personally) really needed this part: Keep a perfect picture in your head of the way you’d like things to be in your life. Polish it. Make it shine. And it will come to pass.

    I intend to do that, from this day forward.

    Have a great day, luv.

  3. dawn says:

    But I’ve learned that patience and encouragement does wonders for a child’s self-esteem and promotes the best thoughts….

    My daughter taught me this… at 5 years old. It’s a lesson I never forgot. She is not me and I do not own her… I learned to appreciate our differences and embrace them.
    Wonderful post Keli 🙂

  4. Bay Martin says:

    Brilliant way of putting things in words.

    As the great scientiest, Einstein said, great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.

    Kudos to you!

    Happy blogging!

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