Health and Stupidity

There’s nothing like an ill-timed cold sore, prominently displayed on the bottom lip, to put life in proper perspective.

I considered wearing a veil on the lower half of my face, but the sudden wardrobe shift would only heighten the curiosity of stupers (short, yet again, for corrosively stupid persons) and likely attract them in droves.

In the distant past, I’ve suffered from head-splitting migraines, vigorous teeth clenching, even a dime-sized cyst most inconveniently placed, front and center, atop my chest, as well as frayed nerves. My wall of sanity wobbled. I practically rolled out a welcome mat inviting meager minds to freely plant their idiot seeds inside my head resulting in my irritation. Without fail, every time I allowed such a disturbance, something unpleasant, a disorder or minor but vexing disfiguration, paid me a visit. I call this period, The Straightjacket Years.

As my wall became more durable, I freed myself from needless suffering and unsightly blemishes. Yet, as I sit before you, my lower lip is hosting a cold sore.

My dearest, most practical readers are probably frantically waving their arms right about now, trying desperately to get my focused attention and point out that fever blisters or cold sores are actually caused by a virus not a stuper. But I know better.

It’s true that such viruses lie dormant until triggered by fever, cold or other viral infection, exposure to sun and wind or…stress. And what kind of empty-headed, wholly dysfunctional, Darwinian nightmare promotes stress? The stuper kind.

I don’t know how many of you actually appreciate what I just did: subtly stated a hypothesis, provided evidence and confirmed it in a matter of three seconds.

When we are subjected to the inane antics of stupers or their verbal bullets, the key is to get the bullets to ricochet off yourself and hit the dullard back squarely between his glazed eyes, hopefully stimulating frozen brain cells. Either that or find a way to neutralize the assault so that you remain unaffected.

In my latest bout involving stupidity and the cold sore, the stuper involved was myself once again. My own stupidity cleared a space for the virus to land.

A few days ago, I assisted Son #2 with a Physics Lab. Physics was the only course in high school for which I received a less than exemplary mark. In all fairness, it was my last semester; I’d already been accepted to University, and I had more exciting causes to champion.

A lab that was supposed to take sixty minutes, took us four, frustration-filled hours. By hour two, I’d developed a hair-trigger temper, a sudden, alarming perfectionist complex and ultimately, a cold sore two days later. If I’d stayed open-minded and patient, we would have been fine, and I would not have regressed to stuper standing. But I panicked, undermining my own sanity and promoting stress. Now I bear the degrading stamp of the cold sore for all to view.

Many modern ailments are the result of mental distress and disturbances. Our state of mind affects our health and produces maladies. I offer Exhibit A: Myself.

Our negative thoughts and emotions permit the entry of germs and viruses into our body in what is referred to by medical experts as lowered resistance. The opposite is also true.

Often issues that seem momentarily important change over time. Was it more important for me to enjoy time spent with my child or to build a mechanically correct replica of a calorimeter out of Styrofoam cups? It’s imperative to evaluate situations with clarity and wisdom in order to stave off stress and maintain sanity.




9 Responses to “Health and Stupidity”

  1. Jenny says:

    I so sorry!

    Do you know, I have never had a cold sore? **knocks on wood**

    But I have certainly made myself suffer in other ways by occasionally being a trifle impatient and overbearing (read: controlling) instead of more easygoing.

    Great post as usual, Keli!

    Garson/Depp ’08

  2. Agnes Mildew says:

    I get like this purely assisting daughters #1 and #2 with their maths. What DO they teach them these days??! #1 doesn’t understand percentages and how to calculate them. I cannot get my head around this – percentages are one of the easiest things to perform. Yet she is a whizz at algebra.

    It’s me. I know. I am becoming a curmudgeon…

    By the way, I have never had a cold sore, but I believe there are some fantastic clear ‘plasters’ called Compeed which get rid of them rapidly. Can you get them over there?

  3. Suzie says:

    I am sorry you have a cold sore.
    When someone gets under my skin, I get sick.
    I get cold symptoms, like, runny nose & sneezing.
    They (stupers) sure know how to make people around them sick.

  4. Keli says:

    Thanks, Jenny! I like your choice of VP. If I could get JD, I’d be a shoe-in!
    I am using a miracle cure as we blog. But I have yet to see the speedy results I require (I have a party to attend shortly). I have never seen Compeed around here, but I am going to check it out!
    All the more reason for the rest of us to control our emotions so we remain unaffected. The minute I lose my cool is when I see undesirable results.

  5. kev says:

    Sorry you have a cold sore!

    Until reading this, I always assumed cold sores came about as a result of seeing Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton on a magazine cover while in the checkout lane of a grocery store.

    Thanks for setting me straight! 😉

    (BTW: I love how, to prevent spam, you require readers to add two numbers together in order to leave a comment. Not only does this block spam, it blocks stupers. Very smart, my friend. Very smart.)

  6. Elaine says:

    Oh Keli, I’m sorry about the cold sore. I’ve never had one but use to have horrible canker sores, which can be brought on by stress just as you said.

    Hope your Son’s Physic’s Project receives a terrific grade!

  7. dawn says:

    Keli I had a cold sore last week! It was the first one I’d had in years but I wasn’t sick. Hmmmmm… but I was a little stressed out… makes perfect sense to me.

  8. Ferd says:

    During one of the most stressful times of my life, I went out on a very hot and humid day, at noon, without breakfast or lunch, to pound out my frustrations with a twelve mile rollerblade. I dehydrated severely, got very dizzy, fell and broke my wrist. I also was not wearing helmet or writ guards. That was a solidly stuperous moment in my life and it cost my health. I so agree with your hypothesis!

  9. I get them too, I do not like them either. I further do not like it if I am the cause of stress that made them present themselved to me. Ah well slather on the Campho-Phenique, take a deep breath,and let yourself off the hook. You wouldn’t want any of its buddies to show up!

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