Stupidity is Intolerant

I’ve been blissfully enjoying stuper (short for an uncontrollably stupid person) free days lately. I’d like to believe it’s because I’ve become so expert, so fine-tuned to their inane ways and so staggeringly tolerant, that I have achieved the immunity that I’ve longed for. Then I received an e-mail from my cousin, Pauline, about an idiot relation. Immediately, my lukewarm blood boiled to molten lava temperatures. I virtually had to take an ice bath before I could sit and write this post, as a cool head and hand are required to be most effective (a cool hand to deter the possibility of strangulation of the stuper involved).

Pauline’s ten-year-old, Kara, is mildly autistic. Pauline has been beset by many trials in her life, so most of my authentic family members try to help her. Before I continue, please allow me to reiterate for new readers and my old, highly devoted readers who may need reminding: I consider religion to be a potentially wondrous and comforting guide to living life. However, in the hands of an idiot, it’s an open invitation for a sound whipping.

Aunt Hexaba is a well-known, much avoided, religious zealot. She is married to my uncle whose wealth is only surpassed by his wife’s miserliness and stupidity. Hexaba is avoided by most of our relatives, as her reputation is quite tarnished through every fault of her own. It’s impossible to converse with her and not be subjected to certain key terms: “sinner” “sins” and “sinful.” A broad vocabulary she has not. She’s has been doing jail ministries for years and gives numerous talks on how to help the downtrodden. Yet she perpetually leaves everyone who crosses her path feeling downtrodden in spirit if not outright enraged.

At a family gathering, Pauline’s daughter, Kara, wished to play with Hexaba’s granddaughter, Ruth-Esther, a sweet ten-year-old. After a few minutes of playing, Hexaba told Pauline that Kara was bothering Ruth-Esther and asked that she be taken away. I’ve witnessed their playing. Kara is a little loud. Ruth is quiet. Kara is excitable. Ruth is quiet. Kara is easily frightened. Ruth is quiet. For the remainder of the evening. Hexaba primly sat guard next to a silent Ruth. Kara sat nearby, rocking herself back and forth in distress. Pauline tried to coax her to play with other kids, but Kara wanted to stay near Ruth, much to Hexaba’s chagrin.

Hexaba puts up with prison inmates, atheists and an assorted variety of miserable sinners, yet she couldn’t manage to tolerate a little girl suffering from a legitimate intellectual impairment. I hold Hexaba up to the highest moral standards as she continually quotes from the Bible and reminds one and all that she is a Godly woman. She should set a superior example if she indeed wishes to convince others of the rightness of her beliefs. What is of importance is not mere faith, but a life of love, reason and justice based on good principles often found in the world’s religions. As it is, I personally contemplate atheism, paganism, communism and swift kickisms in the buttism whenever I’m in Hexaba’s presence. Even common houseflies hurriedly speed away when they catch wind of her.

If Ruth-Esther was bothered by Kara, the best course of action would have been for an intelligent adult (I use these terms strictly) to sit with the two little girls and gently monitor their behavior. At a past gathering, they’d played nicely together with an adult present. If Hexaba truly did not want Kara near her granddaughter, a white lie would have been appropriate.

“Ruth isn’t feeling too well today.”

That way Pauline’s feelings would have been spared and my blood pressure would have stayed at normal levels because I would not have received the e-mail from Pauline. Possibly too, at the hint of thought, Hexaba’s thimble size mind would have expanded just a tad, instilling hope in those around her.

I have tried being extra rude to Hexaba to get her mind to function; my sister has even been more insulting. I believe Hexaba has been subjected to a moderate dose of bodily harm. But alas! Her skin is as thick as the distance between Minneapolis and Lima, Peru. Nothing is able to penetrate.

I e-mailed Pauline back and suggested she keep her distance from Hexaba in the future as is customary among my thinking relatives. Hexaba’s unkind reaction to Kara was the result of Hexaba’s small mind. Intolerance shrinks the mind until there’s nothing left but a small, barely functioning remnant.

~ At least two thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity. ~ Aldous Huxley

Why not think?


4 Responses to “Stupidity is Intolerant”

  1. Suzie says:

    It is very unfortunate that some people don’t use their brain and think before they speak. They don’t realize what they say might hurt the other person. Or may be they think they can say what they want and they’ll be forgiven. Perhaps that is why they always carry a holy book with them.

  2. MC says:

    I think it’s time for you to come up with something that we could all use to battle really thick skinned stupers. There are quite a few out there that leave the rest of us feeling yucky afterward. AgHHH! I can’t stand religious stupers! They are the worst!

  3. Sergio says:

    Keli, do you happen to know my sister in law? I have a feeling you do!
    My sister-in law, Jackie, is exactly like Hexaba. When she comes to my house, she always puts on a smile. No one wants to sit by her and talk to her. She’s been married to my brother for 39 years and still, excuse my language, doesn’t know shit, and says whatever comes to her mind. And she is a Bible thumper too.

  4. Sarah says:

    No one is immune from that disorder called stupidity are they? It seems it’s your Aunt Hexaba with the legit intellectual impairment.

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