Stupidity and the Neighbor’s Dog Poop

I have a friendly neighbor, Sandy, who’s displayed no regular, outward signs of stupidity. When we see each other, she always offers a cheerful smile and a wave. She’s capable of carrying on discussions with no hint of idiocy. Sandy’s even returned our mail every time  it’s mistakenly delivered to her by a moronic postal worker. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that Sandy is a stuper (short, yet again, for a haplessly stupid person). Or at least a semi-stuper when it comes to one particular situation.

Every morning, Sandy walks her large, black Labrador, unleashed, to the edge of our property where the driveway is located; then they both do a U-turn and return home. We live five houses away, so it’s not really a long enough walk to qualify as “exercise.”  But it is precisely long enough for the Lab to do its doody, a massive pile of #2, right at the foot of our driveway. Right underfoot, if you will.

Our driveway is hemmed in by a gate. A manual gate, that requires us to get out of the car to unlatch, open and latch again. Must we be on the lookout for dog poop every time we exit our home? Yes, thanks to Sandy and her gargantuan Lab.

In the past, when I walked our dogs, I cleaned up all poop, often to the sound of applause from the home owner. One grateful lady, obviously watching from the window, raced out to the street early one morning, half-dressed, just to shake my gloved hand in appreciation.

Granted, it’s not easy picking up poop.  Sometimes, we can be forgetful or just lack the proper frame of mind or discipline for cleaning up after active doody. But every day? In the same spot?

When I lived in Los Angeles, I remember walking past a home that displayed a prominent, almost billboard-like sign in the front yard, detailing the dire consequences of not picking up dog poop. Near the front door of said house sat an axe, darts and other assorted subtle, yet potential weaponry. Consequently, all dog walkers steered clear of that place and the lawn looked quite stunning.

I knew that if I mentioned this messy problem to Sandy, she’d take offense. She is an older lady (about seventy or so) who prides herself on being a good neighbor; she’d be angry with me for pointing out her failing. She actually is a model neighbor, except for this recurring, stinkin’ behavior. Redepositing poop (a la an eye for an eye) is really not my style, much to Husband’s dismay. So I opted for the next best thing.

Sandy walks her dog around seven every morning. Early one morning, I wrapped myself tightly in coat, scarf and hat, and headed to the bottom of the driveway, carrying a garden shovel and a bag. I watched the Lab approaching. I proceeded to kneel down on bended knee to clean up the dog’s latest poop pile. Just as I hoped, Sandy apologized, leashed her dog and did not allow #2 to happen again.

It’s surprising how many people are completely unaware that their actions profoundly annoy others. But that’s what makes them stupers.

Unfortunately, not all neighborhood dog pooping cases are resolved so easily as this one. If you don’t plan on living in your home long and have no qualms with making enemies, there are many, many more alternatives. But if you wish to maintain a mostly peaceful existence, it’s important to choose your words and actions more carefully.

Always start out with courteous communication. Try and set an example for the stuper; something to jump-start the drowsy mind. If that doesn’t work, redepositing the poop in the path of the dog’s owner may be in order to properly assist the stuper in becoming fully aware of the problem.

Just think.


7 Responses to “Stupidity and the Neighbor’s Dog Poop”

  1. Elaine says:

    This is so annoying and has to be one of the top pet peeves of home owners. As I was reading this I was thinking “why not just talk to her?” should have known that was coming lol. I think you handled it with grace and style but we would expect nothing less from you Keli. Hope the daily ‘deposits’ are a thing of the past.

  2. MC says:

    I think there needs to be a special task/police force just for this epidemic. If a few dog owners in favor of sh*&%ing on other people’s lawns were hauled away, end of problem! You are too civilized! 😉

  3. Sarah says:

    I’m happy it worked out so well for you. We were not as lucky. We talked to our neighbor about his loose dog who thought our lawn was a port-a-potty, but the neighbor didn’t care. Finally, we kept redepositing back onto the neighbor’s lawn. That neighbor soon moved away. I’d like to think we were a small part of that!

  4. Tom says:

    Doggy do-do is one of my pet hates. It is everywhere in Poland. Everywhere.

    Good job with your neighbour. They’re delicate situations, aren’t they? People who behave badly generally tend to be quite precious and get quite annoyed even when you’re pointing out their error in the nicest and most apologetic way. Funny.

    Oh, this is Tom from BM, by the way. I accidentally deleted my blog last weekend – don’t ask. Luckily I had it backed up but the name has gone forever! Gaarrr! I’ve popped a link to you in my new home 🙂


  5. Keli says:

    Thank you. I certainly hope so too!
    I like the idea of a special task force. That may just have some impact on idiots.
    I’d like to think that too!
    People who behave badly do tend to consider themselves as precious, don’t they? Somebody has to!
    I hope you regain your title! Will visit soon!

  6. Annie T says:

    I dislike dogs intensely. Purely for their toilet habits (and the fact that they like to hump my leg and sniff my crotch incessantly).

    A long, long time ago, before #1 was out of the womb, we lived in the middle of Nowhere, N. Yorkshire. We had one psychotic farmer and a neighbour from Liverpool (from where I haled, too). The neighbours owned a sheepdog cross called Muffin. If you have heard the Scouse accent, try saying ‘Muffin’, loudly and strongly and you will gather how irritating it is…

    Muffin repeatedly jumped over our boundary fence and cr*pped on my front lawn. I took to stalking her, 8 months pregnant, armed with a shot-gun, and told Lizzy that if she defecated again, she was a dead dog. I was informed that the faeces could not have come from Muffin, they must have come from Farmer Danforth’s collies.

    Not on your Nelly!

    I watched Muffin squat repeatedly as I impotently breast-fed new-born #1 from the living room in 1 Walton Lodge Cottages…

    I hated that dog.

    My day came when it strayed way too close to me and, clad in my nasty Doc Martens, as I was doing some heavy duty gardening, I swung her a left kick to her ribs as she positioned herself for a good ‘sit-down’.

    She didn’t return after that…

    Her ‘Dad’ informed me that, when she snuffed it, he would plant her in the front garden and place daffodil bulbs over her grave.

    It couldn’t have happened soon enough for me…

    Sorry, I am too evil for words.

    Ignore me, and I will go away…

  7. Michael says:

    Have you tried flushable dog poop bags before? It’s so easy to use and no more stinky garbage.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.