Insulting Stupidity

I failed the bar exam my first try. I mistakenly thought I was such a genius, I didn’t need to study. Plus, I was paranoid that some undeserving law student would slip in and takeover my first real, highly important and much coveted job in the movie industry if I took time off to study.

I worked for a company boasting a solid group of Stanford Law School graduates who were oh-how-they-knew-it smart. I’d attended a small, private law school. I felt not so smart. The very day the bar exam results were unveiled, this is what I heard in the company conference room, when all were present, coming from a nasally, whiny voice befitting a dwarfish, three legged, blind rat with a cane, dark shades and thinning fur, limping around in search of her next morsel. The voice, if one can call it that, was completely devoid of warmth or charm, and belonged to a witchy attorney, Rodent, Rhoda, who was one of the Stanford grads (no, I am not bitter),

“So. Did you pass?”

I considered raising my dejected self up and lying through my clenched teeth, but I couldn’t do it. I blurted out the truth to which she responded with a hideous, I-knew-it smile.

I received many apologies for Rhoda’s behavior that day, from all the attorneys except Rhoda. I did pass the exam the second time after I took a short leave and was promised by my angelic boss that she would place her foot in the door until my return.

Revenge came later when two very agreeable, pleasant lawyers (not an oxymoron) and myself went to an ultra hip restaurant for lunch, as entertainment attorneys are wont to do now and then. Rhoda, at the last minute, invited herself to tag along. As you may imagine, inviting herself was Rhoda’s only means of leaving the office now and then, short of business meetings when her presence was absolutely required. At twenty-seven, Rhoda was only a year or so older than the rest of us, but you’d never know it. I don’t want to say that she was unattractive, because it was more than that. Misery, greed, selfishness and unbridled ambition can twist around a person’s features.

Rhoda may have made a point of using me as her subject of humiliation, but on our lunch day, it was her turn. And I didn’t lift a finger or say a word.  While the rest of us were carded as we entered the restaurant (you ladies out there can especially appreciate the significance of this small, but enormously complimentary action), the Maitre d’ told Rhoda that he didn’t need to see her ID. She was obviously older than the rest of us. Rhoda was none too happy.

Don’t believe for a minute that stupers ever get away with their sometimes cruel and always idiotic deeds and words. It always returns to hit them smack in the back of the head.  The proper response to insulting stupidity depends on you. If you should offer an insult in exchange for one, how would it make you feel afterward? Small, like your head is where your ankles used to be? In that case, an insult is not in order. However, if you feel the insult will put a stop to future acts of stupidity or possibly jolt the dolt into thinking, then by all means, indulge.

We shouldn’t expect too much from the meager mind. In fact, we shouldn’t expect anything. This would make it far easier to accept the presence of stupidity.

Keep thinking.


9 Responses to “Insulting Stupidity”

  1. MC says:

    Stupers say the damnest things! Always at the wrong times!

  2. Sergio says:

    What did you expect from a stupid person?
    I bet after you said you didn’t pass, she tried to act sympathetic, like
    she was sorry for you. Trying to act like she cared to cover up her stupidity.

  3. Suzie says:

    Unfortunately there are many people that enjoy hearing about misfortunes. And sometimes show their excitement too.
    That is what I call a true stuper.

  4. Mad Woman says:

    Ahhh the best kind of revenge…sweet and you didn’t have to do anything for it. Love it!

  5. Jessica says:

    I do believe in karma but then I ask myself: why the hell is my ex mother in law still alive? Honestly, she is pure evil and yet on she goes.

  6. Onedia says:

    I am surrounded by so many stupers that they are sucking the oxygen out of the town and I am going under.

  7. Onedia says:

    Keli, Did you hear that the #1Ladies Detective Agency is coming to HBO as a series in March….hooray.


  8. Keli says:

    Oh yes!
    So, Rhoda was not the type to even pretend to act sympathetically. It wouldn’t occur to her.
    Very true!
    Mad Woman:
    It was mighty sweet.
    Patience, my dear. All in good time (unfortunately, it’s not always on the schedule we’d like to see it on!).
    Do not allow them to suck any oxygen. It would be wasteful. By using your head and your sense of humor, you may prevent them from fully exercising their empty heads. You will not go under.
    Yes, March 29the is the date, I hear. I’m looking forward to it! Thanks very much for letting me know!

  9. Ferd says:

    I know I’m late, but I just wanted to say that it really makes me mad that anyone should offend you like that. Had I overheard that, I would have given her a HUGE piece of my mind! NO-ONE should talk to YOU like that. Maybe they could talk to me like that, but anyone can see that you are a special person. You are the kind of person we should all treasure, protect, and emulate.

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