Talking to Yourself Out Loud: Stupidity?

March 5, 2009 by Keli.

Do you talk to yourself? Is talking to yourself a characteristic of stupidity? It all depends on how and where you do the talking.

I’ve been known to talk to myself. Out loud. I don’t mumble either; I speak quite clearly. I find that it helps me to remember little things and to solve personal dilemmas. I know I’m doing it. And I don’t have a problem with it. As long as I do so when no one else is around. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

I once engaged in a heated exchange with myself about a stuper (short for a distinctly stupid person) when a man suddenly appeared a few feet away from me, raptly listening to my solo conversation. In my defense, I was out walking in dense fog (the kind where, if I dropped my cell phone, I’d have to get down on all fours and bravely feel around for it).

At first, I was mortified. Had the eavesdropper heard the part where I wanted to tie one end of a rope to a chair to which the stuper was handcuffed, and tie the other end to the bumper of a four-wheel drive monster truck that I would then drive over jagged edged boulders at high speeds? All this in a herculean effort to get the stuper to put her brain to use or at least donate it to scientific stuper research. I was subjected to some heavy squinting and blinking by the suddenly appearing man as he vainly searched for the party with whom I was having said conversation.

After this incident, I kept my talking out loud to a minimum or at least within the confines of my car or home where such behavior is not totally unexpected.

I came across a woman in a grocery store yesterday who not only talked to herself out loud, but did it so others had to be involved as well.

“Don’t the pears look good?” “Should I buy some cereal?” “How about that coconut cake?” (take note, dear readers, everything is in the form of a question. A telltale sign of stupidity).

Then she decided to pull random audience members into her monologue.

“What time is it?” she yelled to no one in particular.

I heard a nearby man answer her, “Uh, it’s 4:10.”

Which made me wonder, “Are they together?” (to myself, not aloud).

They were not together, and she proceeded in this manner for the duration of her shopping.

“Where’s the bread?” she inquired, looking around her.

A kindly, elderly shopper replied, “Aisle four, I think.”

This woman was not insane. She happened to check out the same time as I did; I noticed that she managed a fairly normal conversation with the cashier. She just hadn’t mastered the art of not talking to herself loudly in public places. To do this, a trained mind is required. An aware, active mind that’s not easily distracted. All stupers need to do is to try to think more than they talk. Or simply to try to think. This starts with keeping the mouth closed and the mind open, and choosing which thoughts to include and which to discard. Only then will we be rid of counterfeit humans.

Think.

Keli

Posted in My very own stupidity, Plain Old Fashioned Stupidity | 14 Comments »