Stupidity and Pedestrians

It appears that the vast majority of stupidity takes place while we are in or around motor vehicles. Even merely being near a car can promote idiocy.

For instance, when most of us, and I include myself in this popular category, place our vehicles in reverse in order to back out of a parking space, we typically crane our necks to carefully check behind and around us, ensuring the safety and well-being of those traveling on foot. But what if those foot travelers turn out to be stupers (short, yet again, for fundamentally stupid persons)? Should we continue to keep our cars in reverse? If so, would we be justified in embarking on a vigilante mission to annihilate stupers who obviously act stupidly? Or should we slam on the brakes, shake our heads in wonder and later entertain others with yet another tale of the stupid among us?

As I cautiously backed out of a parking space the other day, I noticed two pedestrians approaching my car; a husband and wife team, wearing identical striped shirts and jeans. They were clearly foreign tourists; perhaps that would explain the identical get-ups.

By foreign, I don’t mean they were from Tallapoosa, Alabama or Bunkie, Louisiana. I mean they were likely visitors from a different continent.

They rapidly walked toward me. The husband, as expected, passed in front of my car, safely and sanely. The wife, clearly a newly anointed daredevil or recent lobotomy recipient, decided to dash behind my car, almost touching it, totally oblivious to the fact that my vehicle was locked in motion. The most astonishing fact was that she never once flinched or turned her head, but kept looking straight ahead, without any expression. My slamming on the brakes went unnoticed. She was not visibly blind or deaf or dumb.

How do we respond to such blatant stupidity? If it brings us a sense of relief, it’s okay to react briefly. Expletives are always optional, depending on your comfort level and personality type.

“Hey you (*(#&@_!  You blind?”

Or, as I prefer, we remain calm, go home and throw a barbecue where we stage a reenactment for loved ones and close friends,  depicting what actually happened, what could have happened and/or what we would have liked to happen, regaling our amused audience with how we kept a cool head all the while. Laughter is so much more becoming than anger.

Think first, last and all of the time.

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

7 Responses to “Stupidity and Pedestrians”

  1. MC says:

    I have many, many, possibly thousands of pet peeves about parking lot stupers. I’m pretty sure I would have kept my foot on the accelerator.

  2. Suzie says:

    I think everybody goes through this at least once.
    I feel sometimes like hitting them gently with the back of my car. You think they would notice?
    They sure make me angry.( STUPERS)

  3. Onedia says:

    Well, having navigated a few highways and byways of the world the customs and habits of both drivers and pedestrians are so varied from our own that I sometimes felt at a loss to break the code. In some there is the custom that you look straight ahead at all times (even and especially at an intersection) and do not give way. It is the responsibility of the person who turns and looks to give way. Perhaps this woman was of such a custom and thereby expected you to give way since you actually looked.

    O

  4. Elaine says:

    What is it about parking lots that brings out the stupers? I am like MC, have many pet peeves and I rarely leave a parking lot anymore without muttering under my breath. One that really irks me are Mothers pushing the grocery cart and lets young child run ahead without any supervision. I better stop here before I go on a rant and start my list.

  5. Ferd says:

    As I walk in a parking lot, I am always worried about a possible stuper-behind-a-wheel. I look at the drivers to see where they are looking, to see if they are looking out for me. Even when I have a pedestrian walkway, I don’t trust that the car will stop for me. Sometimes I think I’m too paranoid, but now I see that it is much better than being oblivious to the dangers around me.
    Being service oriented, I like the idea of “accidentally” running over a stuper or two. Bwahahahaha.

  6. Paul says:

    I think it’s best in those situations to help the stuper so that they don’t make the same mistake in the future. For instance, I think I may have stopped my vehicle, applied the parking brake, exited the car and approached the couple.

    “Um, hello. Did you notice the bright white lights on the back of my car? They signify that the transmission is in reverse gear and I’m moving backward. Toward you, in this case. Do they have cars where you live? Do those cars have reverse lights? Oh. Because if there was a next time, I’d probably just mow you down, wear clown shoes to your funeral and piss on your grave. Have a nice day.”

  7. Annie T says:

    I recall a woman knocking me over in a similar situation. I, however, wasn’t the stuper in this case since I was walking on the pavement. She decided to reverse up it, knocked me onto her boot, and continued reversing with me banging and clinging on for dear life with one hand.

    She stopped as she realised her folly, allowed me to dismount, and drove off rapidly with nary an apology. I was so shocked, I didn’t get her number plate. But I can guarantee, I didn’t remain calm and laugh about it!!

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