Stupidity and Math

Stupers (short, once again, for assuredly stupid persons) are not only incapable of listening, following directions, properly operating a motor vehicle, eating with their mouths closed and complex math problems, but their attempts to solve simplified math are akin to drilling holes in a block of cement…with a toothpick. It ain’t gonna happen. A calculator in the hands of an idiot only makes matters worse, guaranteeing a multitude of errors.

I received an e-mail from Wanda describing her unfortunate experience with a calculator-toting stuper:

Dear Keli,

I work as an editor of legal documents for a lawyer. I get paid $16/hr. Yesterday, I worked 2 1/2 hours and gave my boss an invoice for $40. Last night, she e-mailed me, saying that I overcharged her and should actually be paid $36.80. I e-mailed her back, explaining that one hour equals $16. Two hours equal $32, and another half an hour is $8, making the grand total $40. She responded, saying that she used a calculator and her total is correct. And she’s going to deduct it from my paycheck. Is this not a case of rip roarin’ stupidity? My boss does act stupidly now and then, but it usually doesn’t bother me. Unless it has to do with my paycheck! What should I do? 

Wanda

Violence is not the answer. Even subtle hostility should not be used here without extensive training as fine timing is required. I plan to do a workshop on subtle hostility and stupidity in the near future.

Wanda indicated that although her boss typically performed idiotically, it was tolerable imbecility. That should be comforting to all of us. I would suggest Wanda arm herself with a calculator, make an appointment to see the boss, and give her a quick addition lesson, at the boss’s expense, of course. It appears to me the boss multiplied 16 by 2.3 instead of 2.5; the .5 equaling the half an hour. Alas, the boss mistook .3 for 30 minutes.

The amount involved may seem paltry, but who knows? $3.20 today may escalate into $320 tomorrow. Even calculators can’t do the thinking for idiots.

Mental training involves great effort; too much it seems for stupers. We must strive harder to train our minds to develop the best that is in each of us.

Don’t stop thinking.

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

10 Responses to “Stupidity and Math”

  1. MC says:

    The old 1+1 = 4 routine stuper addition. Stupers trying to do math are truly dangerous. I think violence may have been the right answer.

  2. Mad Woman says:

    Oh I do love when stupers arm them with tools so complex that their small brains cannot seem to grasp the concepts of how to work them. I had a similar run in with a boy at Old Navy who took great delight in pounding the buttons on the calculator and shoving in my face all while saying “SEE?!? I’m right”. Yes dear, but given that you’re showing me a different answer each time, I’m a little unsure as to which answer you think you are right about. And by the way..you’re wrong.

    Perhaps we should design a new style of calculator specially for stupers??

  3. Ferd says:

    This is so sad. People in the professional workplace with math skills in the mentally retarded range.

    By now, Wanda’s boss must know she has a weakness in this area. That’s not unusual. Not everyone has a math chip. But then she should have the appropriate support around her so she can delegate. Obviously, a calculator isn’t her answer.

    Very sad.

  4. jessica says:

    I think my head would have exploded

  5. Vanessa says:

    Apparently, this lady’s boss thinks she is running a special for the summer. We all know who’s special, now don’t we…

  6. Suzie says:

    Next time if you work 3.25 hours let her figure it out how much! Then she’ll have to close her office and try to do some real math. Ha ha!

  7. omawarisan says:

    I believe Wanda is due a significant raise.

    If her attorney/boss is doing so poorly that $3.20 is worth quibbling over she must as good an attorney as she is a mathematician.

    Wanda must be working much harder editing her bosses documents than she would if she was working for a non stuper lawyer.

  8. Wanda says:

    Thanks, Keli!
    I did as you suggested and I think my boss may have gotten the picture because she said, “looks like my math skills are not up to speed,” so there is hope.
    But I just read Omawarisan’s comment, and he makes a good point. I think I’m working much harder than if I had a non stuper boss! I’m going to do as you suggested and start looking for another job for a boss who is not an idiot.

  9. H says:

    Wow! As a math teacher for many years, this is exactly the type of thing I have been battling against. It’s sad how so many people lack basic math (and science) literacy. Too many people (in this case, stupers) do not realize that a calculator is worthless if basic math skills and concepts elude the user.

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