Judging Stupidity

July 23, 2009 by Keli.

Yesterday, I had more than my fair share of stupidity. Even a stupidity specialist such as myself can get bombarded now and then. First, a legendary literary agent informed me the idea for my blog is “cute,” but the writing didn’t “appeal him.” Okay, I know he meant “appeal to him,”  but really, how challenging was it to insert the small preposition “to” in an eighteen word sentence? I took this quite personally and had to soundly stamp him a stuper (short for an overtly stupid person).  After all, anyone who’s been dealing with the business of words for many decades, should make a small effort to utilize said words with greater care and accuracy. I was highly offended.

Secondly, I made the mistake of calling the US District Court office in Los Angeles with the intent of speaking to a real, live clerk about a question their website didn’t answer. I dialed the number provided for additional information and/or questions, innocently believing my simple inquiry of “Do you need a resume attached to your judicial application?” would be ably answered.

I, naturally, encountered a recording. Was the recording helpful, you may politely ask? About as helpful as tying a piece of thread to a doorknob during a windstorm and then attempting to use the thread to shut the door while standing fifteen feet away. The recorded voice read, verbatim, at an exceedingly slow pace, the exact verbiage appearing on the website, pausing at all punctuation marks for added emphasis or so the tortured listener could run and brew a cup of coffee without missing a word.

Not to worry, dear readers; I’m not applying for a judgeship. I was testing the waters on behalf of a friend. I wouldn’t make a good judge. Anyone who remotely resembled a stuper would automatically be given the death penalty which would unnecessarily clog our appeals courts. It would be a lot of fun though.

Idiocy and annoying thoughts cause a great commotion in our minds. All the more reason to work hard at remaining unruffled. Now if I can only take my own advice…

Why not think?

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Monumental Stupidity | 8 Comments »