Judging Stupidity

Yesterday, I had more than my fair share of stupidity. Even a stupidity specialist such as myself can get bombarded now and then. First, a legendary literary agent informed me the idea for my blog is “cute,” but the writing didn’t “appeal him.” Okay, I know he meant “appeal to him,”  but really, how challenging was it to insert the small preposition “to” in an eighteen word sentence? I took this quite personally and had to soundly stamp him a stuper (short for an overtly stupid person).  After all, anyone who’s been dealing with the business of words for many decades, should make a small effort to utilize said words with greater care and accuracy. I was highly offended.

Secondly, I made the mistake of calling the US District Court office in Los Angeles with the intent of speaking to a real, live clerk about a question their website didn’t answer. I dialed the number provided for additional information and/or questions, innocently believing my simple inquiry of “Do you need a resume attached to your judicial application?” would be ably answered.

I, naturally, encountered a recording. Was the recording helpful, you may politely ask? About as helpful as tying a piece of thread to a doorknob during a windstorm and then attempting to use the thread to shut the door while standing fifteen feet away. The recorded voice read, verbatim, at an exceedingly slow pace, the exact verbiage appearing on the website, pausing at all punctuation marks for added emphasis or so the tortured listener could run and brew a cup of coffee without missing a word.

Not to worry, dear readers; I’m not applying for a judgeship. I was testing the waters on behalf of a friend. I wouldn’t make a good judge. Anyone who remotely resembled a stuper would automatically be given the death penalty which would unnecessarily clog our appeals courts. It would be a lot of fun though.

Idiocy and annoying thoughts cause a great commotion in our minds. All the more reason to work hard at remaining unruffled. Now if I can only take my own advice…

Why not think?



8 Responses to “Judging Stupidity”

  1. omawarisan says:

    Cute? CUTE!?! How can stupidity be so smug?

  2. MC says:

    This is just why you should be a judge. I’ve told you before. I think the death penalty may force stupers to use their rusty brains.

  3. Elaine says:

    Ha ha I have to agree with MC, I wish you were a Judge!

  4. Sofi says:

    Sometimes when I get the recording, I feel like blowing my head off with an elephant gun. Just because I cannot do it to the other party.

  5. Obamy says:

    May be God created stupid people so they can entertain us.

  6. Jenny says:

    I was very disappointed to learn you were NOT going for a judgeship, Keli! That would be a decided bright spot to the west of me. *sigh*

    But that literary is a stuper and no mistake. Clap him in irons.

  7. Jenny says:

    AGENT. Literary AGENT is what I meant say …


    meant TO say …

  8. Ferd says:

    Agree!! You would make a GREAT judge! And every day you’d have a huge amount of blog material! Not that it’s lacking in the world at large, sad to say.

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