Stupidity and the “Hello” Conflict

Stupers (short for decidedly stupid persons) can be a source of conflict for those of us who choose to exercise our minds. I noticed the vast majority of the problems requiring televised judicial assistance from the likes of Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Maria and Judge About Anybody revolve around stupers. The conflicts I attempt to resolve right here exclusively arise from stupers; here’s one now from blog reader Teri:

Dear Keli,

 Until I was about twenty-five years old, I actually believed that all of my family members unconditionally loved me. I’m Italian with a lot of relatives. We have a lot of parties. I thought imperfections were overlooked, thanks to our strong family ties.

I lived out of the country for eighteen months. When I returned home to Baltimore, I was excited to be just in time for my uncle and aunt’s fortieth anniversary. There were about sixty of us there.  It was a great homecoming for me.

The party lasted several hours. As we hugged and said our farewells, Aunty Talia, whom I’d known since I was six, marched up to me, not to say goodbye, but to rudely ask, “Did you say hello to my mother?” I went into complete shock. Keep in mind, this was about four hours after the party started. Not only was this a dumb question, but what the heck was that about? I said “hello” to everyone! I was speechless. I ransacked my mind (which I do use, by the way) to see if I’d forgotten. I thought I’d greeted everyone. I felt confused and upset. Aunty Talia stormed away before I could say, “I’m sorry.” Since then, she ignores me at all parties. In fact, she gives me the cold shoulder. Was it my fault? Do I have to apologize? The mom is not mute or deaf. She could have said hello just as easily. What should I have done?

Teri had several options, such as:

A. Immediately said hello and goodbye to the mother thereby killing two birds or idiots, as in this case, with two words;

B. Informed her aunt that, “We don’t stand on ceremony; tell your ma to get her fat a*^ over here!”

C. Apologized, explaining that she got caught up in the whirl of the party and may have possibly overlooked the mother;

But let’s discuss the relative (pun intended) importance of the word “hello” at one family party.   On a scale of 1-10, with ten being extremely important, it ranks .09.  Apparently, Aunty Talia had more going on beyond the word “hello”. Perhaps seeing Teri so content radically upset the prevailing imbalance in this stuper’s mind, which was determinedly set on drowning others in her personal pool of misery. Where do you think the adage “misery loves company” originated? From a stuper trying to pull others into her realm of misery. Or maybe the aunt craved attention from Teri, (idiots do thrive on attention), expecting her to demonstrate that she’d missed Aunty most of all. Or maybe Aunty Talia just ate a nasty olive. In any case, the “hello” conflict surfaced.

Apologizing, then quickly exiting the playing field, is the kindest route, but does it encourage the meager mind to repeat trifling behavior? Possibly. However, I believe it’s still the path Teri should have taken as it might have awoken the stupid aunt up and aided her in seeing the silliness of her behavior. But then again, it might not have.

You’ve probably read about the best means to scare off a bear or mountain lion when suddenly confronted by one while wandering in the woods. If you run away, you confirm you are prey and will likely be eaten. To survive, one must look the beast in the eye, and stand firm and fierce (pulling out a shotgun or machete would be helpful also), letting it know you mean business. And so it is with stupidity.

Never hesitate to use kindness, as we never know what troubles the meager mind is focusing upon. Just be sure to keep your own thoughts focused on the positives in your life.

Think for yourself.


3 Responses to “Stupidity and the “Hello” Conflict”

  1. Rebecca says:

    Stupers pick the stupidest things to get fixated on! Idiots!

  2. Suzie says:

    I also have a big family. Funny almost the same thing happened to my daughter. But, she did not leave. She told her grand mother and she took care of the stupid person’s remark. Every family has idiots.

  3. Sergio says:

    Maybe there is a reason for idiots. Don’t you think we need them to teach us? This is how we learn . They do something we don’t like, we try not to do the same. We should think for ourselves.

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