Chuck, Buying Office Supplies and Stupidity

I visited my local office supply store, not because I felt like seeking out stupers (short for incomparably stupid persons); I can do that just about anywhere. I went because I actually needed office supplies.

My company has an account there. I usually bring a copy of the paperwork that confirms our account, and no warfare, or cash output by me, is waged. It’s worked well. Most of the cashiers know me, and we get along splendidly. I pull out my driver’s license, proving I am the person whose name is printed on the paperwork, and peace reigns. However, last week, I decided to confidently stand in line and be waited on by a new cashier, one whom I didn’t immediately recognize as a stuper.

I had my reason: the guy behind the cash register bore a striking resemblance to the actor who plays the lead role in Chuck, one of the few television shows I actually watch, being a fan of goofy, comic, spy capers. And I really like the lead actor.

Big mistake. My paperwork wasn’t good enough for the cashier; neither was my driver’s license. Or that he resembled a talented lead TV actor. Or the fact that I knew most of the employees by their first name and whipped out all my prior receipts (8 in all) proving my loyalty and capability of making purchases in that very store, including one I’d made just that morning. Or that I am a stupidity specialist.

“Rules are rules,” the cashier insisted.

“What rules are those?” I asked sincerely, since this new found rule of calling the manager to verify I was who I am (keep in mind, I’d never met the manager; all she did was call headquarters and explain that my driver’s license matched my name on the paperwork, and um, was that okay? To which they heartily responded with a yes).

I briefly considered jumping lines and getting into the one next to me, but that equally idiotic cashier was reading the directions on the box of a printer to a waiting customer as if it was something out of King Lear, complete with British accent and gestures. I was stuck.

I understand about rules and the penalty for impulsively choosing to be waited on by people resembling one’s favorite TV actors. But I don’t understand why rules change depending on the moron,  idiot employee, person behind the counter.

In situations such as these, the only way to maintain sanity is to pull out all the plugs and let the patience flow or immediately exit the store if there exists an overriding inclination to detonate.

Why not think?


6 Responses to “Chuck, Buying Office Supplies and Stupidity”

  1. omawarisan says:

    Stupers armed with rules are problematic. I’m frightened by the idea of stupers with discretion though.

  2. Mad Woman says:

    Rules are the shotguns of the stuper world. They render us defenseless.

  3. Ferd says:

    Gail and I love the show!

    I’d wait in line for hours for a clerk that looks like Chuck’s unrequited love, Sarah! But I have to admit, if Sarah proved to be a stuper, I would not suffer her long. I now know to rapidly exit before I would detonate! LOL

    Keli, you are my favorite anti-stuper!

  4. Sofi says:

    Tell me something Keli, I always thought maybe 10 or 20% of
    people are stupid. Since I’ve been reading your blog I changed my mind. Maybe only 10 to 20% are not.

  5. Onedia says:

    Kelli , been there….met that person…wanted to throttle him or her…I hate repeat HATE when they change the rules ….. but “that was not how it worked last week” to hear “well it was supposed to” no that person wasn’t an anal fussbox…

    That felt good as I was in our local office supply chain store yesterday for the 10th time since it opened and they as usual did not have something really basic…and …oh never mind…you already said it.

  6. Maying says:

    Some people just know how to implement the rules but they do not know how to implement them correctly.

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