Me, Myself and My Stupidity

May 16, 2010 by Keli.

Once again I found myself embroiled in an act of singular stupidity committed by yours truly. One that never should have happened in the first place or any place.

I stood by the back entrance of my office building after work, late Friday afternoon, waiting to be picked up by Husband. I spoke on the cellphone to my mother for a few minutes and continued waiting.

I carried my usual Rhode Island size handbag, along with a large satchel, which I carry instead of a briefcase because it’s far more fashionable and attractive than an ordinary briefcase filled with boring papers and colorless files. My satchel houses lip gloss, hairbrushes, coupons, post-its, a small book of quotations, my recyclable lunch bag, a reusable, 32 oz. water bottle, and a pair of running shoes and socks for those beautiful afternoons when one must stop working and take a walk. Oh yes, and a few files now and then.

I got off my phone, all the while standing in the same spot. Five minutes later, I decided to call Husband to tell him I was going to wait across the street for him. That’s when it happened. My stupid moment. Because suddenly, I discovered I’d lost my phone. Without having moved an inch.

Okay. I may have moved an inch or two, but not far enough to lose my phone.

I didn’t exactly lose it; I just couldn’t find it. I searched my purse and satchel. No phone.

While pondering the fate of my phone, I briefly considered the various missing sock theories.  These theories are based on the fact that a matched pair of socks goes into the laundry or maybe even into the sock drawer, and one of the mates disappears, often never to be seen again. I didn’t take any of the explanations seriously. Come on, the Black Hole? Aliens? Time travelers? Sand men? Besides, my phone did not undergo any type of wash and rinse cycle. I decided to cross the street while taking deep breaths (inhale for 7 seconds; hold for 7 seconds; exhale for 7 or whatever number suits your fancy and lungs) to ponder the fate of my phone.

Upon my arrival, I recommenced searching. Drawer socks typically get lost due to overcrowding and agitation. My phone likely got lost thanks to those same factors as well. My mind was cluttered and agitated with end of the week and end of the day office thoughts, and it didn’t help that my satchel and purse bulged with all of my so called necessities. Did I really need to carry around two hairbrushes? Couldn’t my Pumas remain in my office? And out of the shoe box? How about that curling iron?

As I uncluttered and calmed my mind and my satchel, I found my phone. Resting inside a running shoe. I’d dropped it in without a thought, hence effortlessly transforming myself into a stuper (short for a hopelessly stupid person). My ensuing frustration only enhanced my stupidity. That’s why it took so long to locate the gosh darn phone.

We must cast aside all mental burdens and unnecessary clutter to avoid self-inflicted stupidity.

Think first, last and always.

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

Posted in My very own stupidity | 8 Comments »