Me, Myself and My Stupidity

Once again I found myself embroiled in an act of singular stupidity committed by yours truly. One that never should have happened in the first place or any place.

I stood by the back entrance of my office building after work, late Friday afternoon, waiting to be picked up by Husband. I spoke on the cellphone to my mother for a few minutes and continued waiting.

I carried my usual Rhode Island size handbag, along with a large satchel, which I carry instead of a briefcase because it’s far more fashionable and attractive than an ordinary briefcase filled with boring papers and colorless files. My satchel houses lip gloss, hairbrushes, coupons, post-its, a small book of quotations, my recyclable lunch bag, a reusable, 32 oz. water bottle, and a pair of running shoes and socks for those beautiful afternoons when one must stop working and take a walk. Oh yes, and a few files now and then.

I got off my phone, all the while standing in the same spot. Five minutes later, I decided to call Husband to tell him I was going to wait across the street for him. That’s when it happened. My stupid moment. Because suddenly, I discovered I’d lost my phone. Without having moved an inch.

Okay. I may have moved an inch or two, but not far enough to lose my phone.

I didn’t exactly lose it; I just couldn’t find it. I searched my purse and satchel. No phone.

While pondering the fate of my phone, I briefly considered the various missing sock theories.  These theories are based on the fact that a matched pair of socks goes into the laundry or maybe even into the sock drawer, and one of the mates disappears, often never to be seen again. I didn’t take any of the explanations seriously. Come on, the Black Hole? Aliens? Time travelers? Sand men? Besides, my phone did not undergo any type of wash and rinse cycle. I decided to cross the street while taking deep breaths (inhale for 7 seconds; hold for 7 seconds; exhale for 7 or whatever number suits your fancy and lungs) to ponder the fate of my phone.

Upon my arrival, I recommenced searching. Drawer socks typically get lost due to overcrowding and agitation. My phone likely got lost thanks to those same factors as well. My mind was cluttered and agitated with end of the week and end of the day office thoughts, and it didn’t help that my satchel and purse bulged with all of my so called necessities. Did I really need to carry around two hairbrushes? Couldn’t my Pumas remain in my office? And out of the shoe box? How about that curling iron?

As I uncluttered and calmed my mind and my satchel, I found my phone. Resting inside a running shoe. I’d dropped it in without a thought, hence effortlessly transforming myself into a stuper (short for a hopelessly stupid person). My ensuing frustration only enhanced my stupidity. That’s why it took so long to locate the gosh darn phone.

We must cast aside all mental burdens and unnecessary clutter to avoid self-inflicted stupidity.

Think first, last and always.


8 Responses to “Me, Myself and My Stupidity”

  1. Jenny says:

    I guess this was phone-losing week! When I’m not looking for mine by calling myself with another phone and finding that I was in the fridge all along, I’m desperately trying to locate the silly thing in the bottom of my “purse” (euphemism for luggage … luggage with bricks added, for ballast) to which it has fallen in lieu of actually landing in the little pocket PROVIDED FOR THAT EXPRESS PURPOSE …

    I can see why ladies-in-waiting are so useful. We should become royals, Keli … then we wouldn’t have to worry about these mundane details of daily life!

  2. omawarisan says:

    Gravity and chance are in a conspiracy against your wisdom.

  3. Sofi says:

    Dear dear Keli, I washed my socks and noticed my pair is no longer a pair. I searched every possible place, no sign of it.
    I decided next time I will by 2 pairs of the exact same, so if one is missing I will still have 1/2 left. Unfortunately,
    you can’t do that with phone.

  4. Mad Woman says:

    Oh I hate when that happens! This is why I currently carry one tiny handbag no bigger than a newborn baby. And yet I still lose things in it.

  5. MC says:

    Look after being plagued by stupidity all the livelong day, it’s easy to lose it. The phone, I mean, in the bag. It’s a wonder you don’t lose it more often

  6. Onedia says:

    Know the feeling….I got a replacement phone only to find mine under the kitchen table.

  7. Tina says:

    I buy beautiful handbags only to get frustrated at not being able to find things. I tried small bags but it would not fit the kitchen sink in. My husband gets more frustrated when I say to him “It is in the main compartment” only to have me say “No, the other one”. He bought me a bag with a single compartment, now I can’t find anything as it is all at the bottom of a cavenous hole.

  8. Ferd says:

    Isn’t it the truth! I get the same way when I am tired and stressed. Taking deep breaths, or a little break, does help clear the mind!

    Your purse sounds very… interesting! I guess you are ready for anything, huh!? And afterwards, great hair again!

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