Stupidity at the Bank…Again

 I am nearsighted, and I am vain. Which means I don’t always wear my glasses, which means you may appear a blur to me from 10 feet or more away when viewed with my naked eye. But rest assured, I have 20-20 vision for all things close range. Stand within 3 or 4 feet of me, and I won’t miss a mole or a wink, should you generously aim one my way.

To satisfy my vanity and to avoid public outcry from those not properly and accurately greeted from afar, I sometimes wear contact lenses…which tend to blur my close range vision. Bifocals are not in my vocubulary. Neither is Lasik. Can you call me a stuper (short for a noticeably stupid person?) I’m afraid so.

 So while wearing my contacts last week, I strolled over to the bank to make a deposit. Because of my blurred upclose vision, I slightly reconfigured my bank account numbers on the deposit slip, switching a 2 with a 1. This is what I said to the teller, after handing her the slip:

Me: I’m sorry, but I think I switched two of the numbers around.

To assist her, I opened my checkbook, so she could view the account number.

Teller (after glancing at the slip): OMG! This is terrible! This is SO WRONG! 

Me: Really? (I knew I’d messed up, but really?)

Teller: COMPLETELY! Look at this! (She waved the slip in the air, above her square-shaped head, for all to see. Even an old lady shuffling along in the middle of the bank, hunched over her walker, stopped and straightened up to take notice.

With great flourish, the teller pulled out a fresh slip and rewrote the numbers, all the while rolling her eyes, shaking her head and muttering, “This is SO wrong.”

I had indeed switched the 1 and 2 around.

Lately, I’ve not found any of the employees, at the banks I frequent, helpful or very nice. I asked a different teller, days before, if it was too late for me to donate gifts to a charity the Bank sponsored for Christmas. 

Her response: I have NO idea.

I have this fantasy of marching into the bank and withdrawing all of my money at the slightest provocation.

Teller: Can I see your driver’s license?

Me: (slapping my palm on the glossy black countertop) That’s it! I’m closing my account!

Or

Teller: You’ve got a little piece of a leaf in your hair.

Me: What? I’m closing my account! NOW!

In my fantasy, my account is rather significant in amount and so has a major impact. My reality is not so, at the moment.

But alas, I remind myself that for some one, even a stuper, to behave so irrationally, they must be suffering. Either from a total lack of brainpower (ie, lazy brain from complete lack of use) or some overriding problem which they are unable to set aside in order to enjoy life. 

 This holiday season, gift giving has been on most of our minds. I’d like to remind my dear readers to also hand out those gifts that are less tangible: kindness, courtesy, patience and understanding. Giving happiness to others is tremendously important to our own happiness. The benefits are immeasurable, as the satisfaction of helping another can be sheer bliss, and we make our journeys around the world a little easier.

Wishing you all the happiest of holidays!

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

7 Responses to “Stupidity at the Bank…Again”

  1. Raz says:

    In your years of study, did you notice that most stupers have square heads? I once lived on a golf course and there was a golf marshall who was a big idiot. His head was square shaped too.;)

  2. Keli says:

    I most definitely noticed that those with heads resembling a square, or even a rectangle, were more prone to stupidity. Don’t even get me started with the ones with triangular shaped heads… Thanks for visiting!

  3. Ferd says:

    Down here they have “blockheads,” unibrows, and a front tooth in the smack dab middle of their maxilla. I’m afraid it’s the result of inbreeding.

    Kindness, courtesy, patience and understanding. I will continue to practice those to the best of my ability. And they don’t cost me a dime!

    Merry Christmas, Keli!
    🙂

    PS- If you add a “Facebook Share” button, I’ll always add your posts to my Facebook News Feed.

  4. Elaine says:

    Interesting comments regarding the shapes of heads. I will be observing this more closely. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ~ wishing you all the best for 2011.

  5. omawarisan says:

    The discussion on head shape may be worth some additional research. There was an early criminologist who worked similarly.

    Stupers seem eager to point out mistakes made by non stupers, even the ones that are pointed out to them by the people who made them

  6. Linda says:

    More inbreeding news: A surprising number of stupers in northern Michigan have two rows of teeth, one behind the other. You can spot this unusual physical characteristic and their stuper behavior a mile away, although usually not at the bank!

    Next time I run into one, I’ll think of you! lol Merry Christmas, Keli, and a Happy New Year, too! 😀

  7. HolyMama! says:

    she made a big fuss over a mixed up 1 and 2…?! oh please! i hope she had a lovely christmas break and came back nice!

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