I hung up on somebody the other day. On purpose. This is not my usual way of handling stupers (short for unimaginably stupid persons). I’ve been known to allow them to drive me to the brink of insanity and remain unaffected. I usually grin and bear it. Sometimes I even throw back my head and laugh out loud for no less than fifteen minutes. Even while drinking water. But my red punching bag was out for repairs (it was somewhat mangled after I hit it with a relentless left hook) and I lost my head.
The caller sought the services of a lawyer, or so she claimed, but she was crazy. You’ve got to take my word for it. It wasn’t because she told me that $1 million was owed to her as the beneficiary of a will that was probated fifteen years ago. Or because she had no copy of the will or any supporting evidence or documents. Or that she told me she hated the aunt that left her the dough, but took care of her anyway for the money and because Aunty was a good cook. It was at that very moment when my index finger landed on the hang-up button.
I felt guilty for about five seconds, but I realized my fragile sanity was at issue. This caller was the last of a string of hazardous stuper callers, all in a span of three hours. I could not take anymore.
Five glorious minutes passed after I’d ended the call. Then she called again. I did not answer, but went to nordstrom.com and marveled at the shoes and sat up in astonishment at the prices (sitting in this fashion is very good for one’s posture and the spine). Apparently, the caller left a message. Pangs of guilt still haunted me.
I buckled up and listened to the message. This is what she said:
Hi, this is X. You were so nice in talking to me that I just wanted to apologize for hanging up on you. I didn’t mean to hang up on you, but I accidentally dropped the phone and then you weren’t there any longer. I’m sorry. You were so nice to talk to. Thank you. Can I call you again sometime? Bye.
Isn’t that lovely? Vindicated without even trying.
Please, PLEASE think.