December 27, 2007 by Keli.

Waiting in line at a department store on the day after Christmas is as natural an occurrence as quills on a porcupine. It is to be expected. Stupers (short, yet again, for unflinchingly stupid persons) do not comprehend this. They regard it as highly irregular and an affront to their unwavering sense of impatience.

Yesterday, I returned seven items in the men’s section of a store. When my turn arrived to be assisted, two marvelously capable workers helped me. My entire transaction took no more than four minutes. During this period, I glanced behind me. A queue of five people had formed consisting of:

1. A small, quiet, resigned fellow who exuded enough patience for the entire city of Buffalo, New York;
2. Two large ladies, one of whom favored the size and shape of a small elephant (think Babar, without the jaunty crown); the other resembled a cross between a candy cane and cement truck; and

3. A foreign couple whose accent was indeterminate.

My focus remained mostly on the completion of my transaction, but I managed to catch a smattering of chatter between the foreign couple. As my 3.5 readers know, “striped” is a one- syllable word. However, this couple pronounced it as two syllables - “stri-ped.”

“There’s a nice stri-ped shirt over there.” “Do you like those stri-ped pants?” and so on.

I barely noticed this quaint chitchat until the cement truck-like woman interrupted them and announced, “It’s not stri-ped. It’s striped!”

Silence ensued, long enough to tie a sneaker. Then the woman continued,

“You should know that you’ve been saying it all wrong. It’s striped! Not stri-ped.”

Silence again ensued, long enough to tie the other shoe.

Then the couple continued their conversation, “Do you like stri-ped pants?” “I prefer a stri-ped shirt.”

I chose that very moment to turn and face the group behind me. I apologized, saying,

“I’m very sorry to be taking so long.”

The responses were,

“No problem.”

“It can’t be helped.”

“Do not worry. It gives us a chance to browse the selection of stri-ped clothing.”

“Well!”

This last comment came out in one great huff from the cement truck-size lady, who, as you may have guessed, was a stuper. That one word indicated that I had no business returning so many items (to which I heartily agreed; but the men in my life are exasperatingly fickle when it comes to wardrobe).

In a span of a few short minutes, stupidity revealed itself. Take note of how the chatty couple dealt with the stuper. They refused to acknowledge her existence, continued their quest for stri-ped clothes and maintained their sense of well-being. They regarded stupidity as they would a pothole in the road. It existed for barely a moment. Once passed, it was readily forgotten.

Think first, last and always.

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Holiday Stupidity, Well Meaning stupidity | 6 Comments »

December 22, 2007 by Keli.

I’d like to acknowledge just a small sampling of thinking, non-stupers (short for persons who actually exercise thought prior to speaking or acting) that I come across over the course of a day lest you think I only tango with the inane:

1. I just love my hairdresser, Brad. My hair had gotten a bit longer than usual, just past shoulder length when I saw him today. His first words to me: “You look like a nineteen year-old!” If you’ve read my “about” page, you know I passed nineteen a few years ago. Brad’s second words to me: “And look how slim you’ve gotten!” Need I say more?
2. I had to develop my digital photo disk at the local drug store. I’d never done so as it is my older son’s job, so I felt a bit grumpy about doing it myself (though I am usually exceptionally good-natured). I waited for the customer in front of me to finish - she must have developed over 7000 prints - and at long last, it was my turn. While I examined the directions for operating the machine, a store employee materialized next to me. “I’m here to help you,” she said, softly. I had just been thinking I wish I had help (Why couldn’t I have wished to win the lottery instead?). I very much appreciated her thoughtful aid.
3. At the local deli today, the crowd seemed a little unruly. One of the workers behind the counter yelled, “Who’s next?” When no one stepped forward, yours truly raised her hand. The worker came to my assistance when I suddenly noticed that the other customers had taken numbers and were waiting their turns. “I didn’t take a number,” I informed the man helping me. A gentleman (and I use this term in the strictest possible sense) stepped forward from the crowd and said, “You can have mine. I’ll just wait.” What unselfish thought! What chivalry!

Such examples are plentiful. I could easily carry on, but it’s not acts of kindness we need help in managing; it’s the stupid among us.

Several times today, I heard people making excuses for rude, thoughtless behavior by saying, “It’s just that time of year.” I disagree. I think stupidity is stupidity all year long, anytime, anyplace. It’s just more noticeable when the rest of us are rushing about, harried and anxious.

The grocery store was crowded, and I myself was guilty of dashing to and fro, somersaulting from aisle to aisle (that maneuver may explain my current lower back ache), leaping over freestanding, waist-high, cardboard ads in order to gather items I needed so I could hurry up and get the hell out of there. As I strolled over to the cashier, I noticed Woman #1 walk in front of a shopping cart pushed by Woman #2. #2 looked like an overinflated balloon, ready to burst any moment.

As #2 braked to a halt, #1 said very nicely,

“Excuse me,”

“Forget it. I saw you zig zagging all over the place,” #2 said loud and clear. Then as an afterthought (I mean an additional piece of nonsense) she added, “It’s just that time of year.”

Stupers readily make idiotic (as opposed to intelligent) excuses for their own ridiculous behavior. They’ve yet to learn that it’s easier to be kind and much less wearing than acting stupidly.

Thinking brings satisfaction to all.

Keli

Keli@Counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Holiday Stupidity, Plain Old Fashioned Stupidity, Miscellaneous | 11 Comments »